It's a dog's life (sleeping, eating, playing)

new bed... new comfort

2010-02-28T16:20:00.002+01:00

So, STAFF finally took the plunge and splashed out on a proper bed for me. Nice thick memory foam. Folded duvet on top. Then a quilted blanket. Then yours truly. And topped with a special Milty blanket on top to keep the draughts out.

Ah, a man can snooze like this. And after a weekend of double walks, shopping and a roundtrip to visit STAFF's niece and back, I am really in need of a bit of sleep. I am just glad it is Monday tomorrow. Chance for a proper rest!

let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

2010-02-21T10:24:00.006+01:00

Blimey. We woke up this morning and thought we might take a trip out to one of the country parks we'd not been to before. Just your typical sort of Sunday. STAFF shuffle down the stairs to make coffee for us to have in bed (I have a snack instead of the caffeine). And when THEY come back up THEY report that everything is covered in snow and it was still snowing.

This is when I start to worry. Because THEY are such wusses about driving on snow, there is a real and present danger of being taken to the local dog park. I hate that place. Why? Well, for starters it is full of dogs. And not much else. But thankfully, the coffee kicked in and STAFF decided to brave it and drive to the best woods. Phew. And how wonderful that looked in the snow. Don't you agree?

We were all kitted out in our finest and warmest stuff and nothing, nothing was gonna stop me from having fun. And eating as much snow as I could. Which was a lot.

Hmmm.... it is harder to find the food in the snow. But then again, once you've sniffed it out, it is much easier to eat it. Because STAFF can (a) not spot the stuff very fast and (b) THEY are super slow on the white stuff. So, it makes the sniffing all worthwhile.

What is it about snow that brings out the puppy in you and me? I really don't know. But I am having fun!

So much fun in fact, that I found I could fly! Yeah! Watch me go! There is just a primal joy to running as fast as you can. All in all, I have to say that I was having such a good time, that I even like STAFF today. Yep, THEY are ok. Or, perhaps there was something in that birdfood I ate that is making me feel all warm and gooey inside. Well, actually, it is making me feel quite gooey. I just still cannot decide whether it is in a good or a bad way...

the sun! the sun! the sun!

2010-02-16T12:11:00.003+01:00

So, I have a new day bed. And just in time for trying out just how comfortable it is, the sun comes out! Wahey! Begone dark winter!

The only trouble is that it is quite hard to stay awa-aaa--aaaaa--aaaa----aaaa--ke....

I'm back...

2010-02-16T09:16:00.003+01:00

Blimey... It's February? Gosh, how time flies... I must catch up. I've had so many adventures. But for now... I must nap....

STAFF are for Life, not just Mealtimes!

2009-12-05T14:24:00.005+01:00

I am getting into the Xmas spirit. And I would like to remind you all that STAFF are for Life, not just for Mealtimes (or Christmas)!

So, even when THEY annoy you, are whiny and demanding, make a lot more work and hassle than you thought, you have to stick with THEM. That's the deal.

So, have a good run-up to the holidays! And hang out your stockings! Ho Ho Ho!

brass monkeys watch out!

2009-12-01T14:19:00.000+01:00

Brass monkeys should not go out in this weather! They might lose stuff. Something similar happened to me. At the vets. Anyway, I digress....

When the thermometer shows anything that is like -1º or worse, I am putting my jacket on. What? You think I care about looking like a wuss? I don't want to look hard, because I am frozen solid.

viva le viva...

2009-11-29T13:55:00.001+01:00

So, STAFF were having some sort of big exam and had to be at work sharp-ish and on time. Of course I knew what to do to take THEIR minds of that and help THEM relax. Oh yes. In a completely unselfish way, I used the cover of darkness on our morning round in the woods to disappear and eat a huge pile of brightly coloured dog biscuits. People just leave those lying about. Like a Fast Food outlet. Marvelous.STAFF were calling frantically. I could hear THEM. After all, I had not gone far. But, hey, I was busy eating, and you cannot rush these things. Gives you indigestion, don't you know. So, after 15 minutes I sauntered back to STAFF, who had by that stage completely forgotten about the exam. And when we got home, THEY had no time to worry. Just to get ready and go.

Well, the exam was passed with flying colours, and I have to say that I take credit for that. Would it have gone so well without my help? Who knows!

Regrettably, the food didn't agree so well with me. I think it was the red biscuits. Or maybe the green ones? But after a couple of days on my cozy bed, I was right as rain again.

Things I do for STAFF....

Parlour games....

2009-11-24T13:54:00.003+01:00

November is well and truly here. The air is wet. And cold. And most likely there'll be a gale blowing, sometimes with a bit of hail as well. So, after my round in the woods, I like to while away my time with a bit of snoozing and, ideally, snacking. But STAFF are not providing any snacks or any other entertainment for that matter, and so whilst THEY are "working from home", I have to make my own fun.

So, I decided to play a few old-fashioned parlour games. First, I needed to stretch and wake and warm up those muscles.And then the games could begin. The first game was How High Can you Stack all Your Feet? Whoa, make sure that it is a stable construction and you don't fall over! I say, I reckon I win this one.

And actually, I am quite tired now. I might just go back to sleep. Until dinner. Wake me when it is time for food!

She loves me... she loves me not

2009-11-23T22:49:00.002+01:00

I am still no further in wooing my sexy neighbour, Lola The Greyhound. First impression are so important, aren't they. And I think mine was rather cold and startling. I really shouldn't have put my nose there, straight-away and on a cold day... Darn. Perhaps a more romantic approach will work?

Cave canem....

2009-11-17T22:43:00.000+01:00

So, I am obviously not a working dog. Not my breed, darling. But I don't mind doing a little light guard dog duty when STAFF are out. Or in. The key is to look like you could not move in a rush and lull anyone into a false sense of security.
But you and I know, ... beware of the dog! After all, I might set STAFF on you!

A splendid little jaunt

2009-11-14T22:19:00.000+01:00

You know the beginning of a walk. When you just got out of the car. Still a bit dizzy from spinning and STAFF's driving? And the air hits you and brings with it smells and scents of such wonder. And you don't know where to go first? Left, right? Forward? Or back? And sometimes I find my paws opt for a different direction each, but in any case, I love the beginning of a good walk!And I was in fact so happy that you can see me smile. Rare, I know, but here it goes.
See it? The lips curled? The gnashers gleaming? Yup! That's me smiling! At STAFF. I know. What's come over me?
It wasn't long before THEY started to annoy me though. It's the slooooow walking that gets me. I constantly have to herd THEM in. What do THEY take me for? A border collie?
But then, a sound? A squawk? A shudder! What ho! Could it be that pheasant from me other day?
I set off immediately to investigate.
Couldn't see it anywhere! But I was not about to give up. A) It had peeped on me when I tried to poop. And B) I now know that those feathery things are edible. I was gonna 'ave 'im!
Sadly even a wide area scan revealed nothing.
Famished after my unsuccessful attempts to catch The Pheasant I had to put up with the indignity of having to ask STAFF for some nourishment to tide me over until breakfast.
And after a day of hunting I was quite glad that at least I had caught one furry that I could take home and display to all who might chance by: Here Sleeps Otto. The Mighty Hunter! Do not peep on him!

Pheasant. Cheekiest birds known to anyone!

2009-11-12T22:13:00.000+01:00

So, STAFF and I skipped to the best woods in the world, as every day, and I find myself a nice spot to go about my morning business. Prime spot, in the woods, right in front of a shrub. Perfect! So, I get in position, and as I am 'sitting' there, looking here, looking there, What Ho!, I see a pair of eyes look right back at me! A pheasant! In the bush! Right! In! Front! Of! Me!Naturally I stopped what I was doing straight away and shooed the Peeping Tom away! Would you credit it!? Peeping on me! A hunting dog! The cheek of it!

And had STAFF told me there and then that you can eat those things, I would have put in more of an effort and had me the little blighter as a snack!

PS: The photo is for general illustration only. Even STAFF wouldn't go as far as taking photos of me doing that. You know what I mean.

PpppppppppppppppppARCEL!

2009-11-09T16:40:00.009+01:00

I love, love, love, love getting parcels! My good friend Sabrina in Germany heard of my difficulties with rousing lazy STAFF from THEIR slumber in the morning, getting THEM around the woods at an acceptable speed and feeling constantly hungry.

And before I knew what was happening a parcel arrived. For me!

I was trying to open it up straight away, I could smell that whatever it was, it was good!
I didn't get too far trying to gnaw it open, so I tried to get it done by kicking it. But to no avail.
Finally STAFF got to it with scissors. And we were in!
Did I mention that it smelled absolutely delicious?
I was trying to inhale the content. Yum!
And then. Succes! I was in. And I had the goods! There was coffee. Strong Italian stuff, so that I could get STAFF up in the morning. And Italian biscotti. So that I could tie one to a piece of string and coax STAFF around the woods following behind it.
But best of all. A bone. Massive. Juicy. Cow flavour. How much better can it get! With just one drawback.... it was in a ruddy plastic packet. I had to rely on STAFF to open it. Well, I say had to.... I would have quite happily eaten through the plastic, but last time I did that I felt strangely ill for a few days, so I thought I had better not chance it.
The trouble is that when you issue STAFF with even a modicum of power, THEY get so excited and all mean and make you wait. Tic. Toc. Tic. Toc. Tic. Toc. Hours passed and I was still waiting for my bone. STAFF were giddy with THEIR bit of power.

I was being super patient. I was not going to give THEM the satisfaction of knowing that I really, really wanted this bone. So, I looked at it. But nonchalantly. Tic. Toc. Tic.
My nerves were beginning to dance the famous sequence from Riverdance. But on the outside I was cool. And still I was waiting. Tic. Toc. Ti---- and then it occurred to me.... oh no! THEY probably just do not know how to get into the darn packaging. I am blighted with really rather silly STAFF.

Think of me friend, and know, I am probably still waiting for STAFF to figure out how to get into the packaging. Tic. Toc.

Keep on the sunny side

2009-11-05T21:51:00.000+01:00

So, I've been keeping pretty busy. Autumn presents a set of challenges for those of us who like to follow the warming rays of the sun around the house. The trouble is that in autumn the sun is at the kind of angle that let's the rays fall into the most awkward of places.

Sun, or no sun, this chair is to small for me. Why must STAFF be so selfish and buy this kind of tat? And why not move one of my sofas into the sunny spot? How lazy!
At least I can move these cozy rugs into the sun. It's quite easy to do. You just have to sit and look mournfully at a sunny spot on the hard, hard wooden floors. And then do a couple of gentle feeps, and, eh voila, STAFF come running and move the rugs for you. Not bad. And yet, I feel my earlier comments on the moving of sofas would apply here, too! I'll mention it to STAFF next time.

Halloween.....Trick or Treat!

2009-10-29T09:40:00.004+01:00

I am totally getting into the Halloween spirit this year. But no silly costumes for me. I have chosen something very stylish. And noble.

Meet Count Ottula. (Imagine you hear thunder rolling in the distance. And the hooting of owls.)

And from now on I shall speak in zer accent of zer Transylvanian. And I shall make use of my power to teach zer squirrels not to tease zer Count - zey shall get a fright when I flap into zer tree and give zem a BIG smile.... (Imagine more ominous thunder now, if you would).

Until zen, Happy Halloween!

Am I grouchy? .... that depends....

2009-10-27T16:19:00.004+01:00

People sometimes accuse me of being a little bit on the sulky side. I think that is totally unfair!I am not looking glum all the time. I am sometimes incredibly cheerful and virtually skipping through the world. Of course those are the times when I am OUTside. Not when I am cooped up INside. INside = ;o( But OUTside = ;o)

It's quite simple really! There are of course exceptions. Like mealtimes. Rain. Sleet. You know, things that can tip the edge of the mouth in the opposite direction.

But, whether you think I am cheerful or not depends entirely on where we meet.

Clock change - schmock change...

2009-10-25T09:38:00.004+01:00

What's with the daylight saving time? Who are we saving daylight from? Nightlight? Time thieves, who are just going to waste it? It's a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, to me. And I hate it when the clocks change. Already we were facing the usual weekend delay. I cannot get STAFF out of bed before 6:12am on a Sunday. I have talked to THEM about this laziness, but to no avail. So, in essence, my walk was already delayed by one (1!) hour. And then the clocks changed. So, now my walk was delayed by more than two (2!) hours. I was absolutely outraged at such a late start, which I knew, knew, would mean that I'd miss the fox, the woods would be full of over-excited "exercise on weekends only"-dogs, and, crucially, my breakfast would be delayed at least 2 hours. Not a good start!But when we got to the woods, I began to realize that I had perhaps , unusually so for such a optimistic and happy-go-lucky non-complaining chap like myself, been a touch pessimistic. Because the woods were full of Fun! (aka squirrels). And the fox's scent was still all over the place! And there were no other dogs. Wahey!
The only problem with all the excitement is that you don't know where to go first. Or whether to go there at all! I find myself making high-pressured adrenaline decisions all the time! If I go hither, will I miss something better tither? Oh, sweet torture of sensory overload!
I decided to get me a nice stick. I just absolutely ♥ chewing sticks. And as you can see I found a nice and big one. Of course the two-legged spoil sports tried to discourage me with patronising comments. Yes, I could see that it was technically a tree. And technically still in the ground. But I was working on those issues, dangit! A tree is really just a stick in the making, isn't it.

In any case, unrelated to STAFFs' negative comments, I got bored. THEY will say that I have a short attention span, but this is not true. I just have many interests! And I like to pursue them all at once.
I found a nice puddle to drink from. It had a really nice muddy flavour, with a hint of horse-apple. Delicious! I guess I have mud-lips. So? You should see STAFF when THEY've been on the hot cacao.
All in all, I cannot help but smile. I am having a fantastic morning outing. I am in such a good mood, that I was even cooperative with the picture taking. Normally I like to see how many shots of my bottom I can get STAFF to take by moving out of the frame at just the right time. But today I changed tack.
So, when STAFF said "let's try for a close-up" I spotted my opportunity! Down on THEIR knees THEY went, peered through the lens and then seemed to get a bit of a shock. Hahaha! THEY did say "close-up". Can't blame me for complying with THEIR wishes.
Teehee, I am still chuckling at that...And, of course, I had my Squirrel encounters. Little rascals! Sitting on the ground, eating nuts, but as soon as you move in to eat them, they go up a tree. How's that fair?

I made it very clear that I much desired them to come down again!
Very, very clear! And I called for several minutes. But nothing! Wildlife of today. No manners!

And now, after all the running and excitement and the late start, and the fox and the squirrels and the leafs and the trees, I am having a little rest.

Even a clock change cannot spoil my mood today. Life, right here and right now, is good!

Autumn: Time to reconnect with my Fox buddies

2009-10-24T18:59:00.014+02:00

I can't believe I've not been writing anything at all for nearly a whole month. Well, all I can say is that September and October are my busiest months. There's the last rays of sunshine to fill up the Sun cells, the dates with Lola the greyhound, the fox hunting, sending STAFF back to school.... It's a totally packed schedule!
STAFF bought the house we live in before I arrived with THEM. And as THEY didn't benefit from my expert advice at the time of purchase, THEY did not calculate that the sun would not shine unto the sofa during all seasons. Shockingly, in winter, we don't seem to get any sun on them at all! I find that a most lamentable state of affairs. And have intimated my discontent on this issue to STAFF. To no avail. I mean, something so basic, you'd have thought THEY could work that out on THEIR own. But, alas, you cannot take anything for granted with THEM.

Now I am wise to the situation, when autumn comes, I charge my sun cells up, to make sure the warm, content feeling imprints itself on the memory cells in my fur and tides me over through the cold winters. It can be quite stressful following the sun around all day. But what's a man to do?

Once I have charged up with all the heat and warmth, I am naturally loathe to let go of even a single little heat molecule. And in my quest for heat preservation, I have learned several interesting facts:

Even looking a little bit cold will have STAFF come running with a blanket.
When you pull the blanket over your head, you are in an oasis of peace, quiet and nice smells (leave the nose out though!)
when you make little grumbling sounds, STAFF look very happy and report immense job satisfaction.
Point 3, increases the chances of 1. happening again. A very Happy Cycle!

In any case, as I was snoozing I was contemplating a couple of very important things. First and foremost a most exciting development on the Front D'amour! Oh yes! Lola, the sexy greyhound I have been carrying a torch for since the day I first sniffed her, is coming over to my house! A date! I am so excited, I can't even sleep at night! And, if I am honest, I worry a little. I have never had a date. What if we run out of stuff to say? What if she notices that the accident at the vets makes me flinch every time someone says 'balls'? What, and this is most likely to happen, STAFF embarrass me? As I was lying, worry creeping through me like a snail through a lettuce patch, slowly but surely gnawing away, I noticed a hitherto unconsidered source of worry and concern. My feet. Or, to be more precise, the lusciously hirsute state of the space between my paws! Is this normal for a guy? What if Lola doesn't like it? Should I shave or wax or trim or leave it as it is? I just do not know. And it is pointless asking STAFF.... I have caught THEM looking at the furry tufts with the unmistakeable intention to fluff them. A raised eye-brow was enough non-verbal communication to put a stop to that plan. Honestly! Get a grip! So, I shall have to remain unsure. And just not know...

Well, I can't worry about that now. I'll have to wait until she comes over and hope for the best.

It is that wonderful time of year when the days get shorter and the morning outings are all in the dark. STAFF and I always really look forward to that. Well, I assume STAFF do. It is hard to tell with THEM... THEY aren't always as bright-eyed and bushy tailed in the morning as you'd expect. So, it is very important for me to get THEM out of bed and focus THEM on leaving the house. And early! And quickly! Otherwise all the good wildlife might have been snapped up by someone else!

It is always very tense when I am waiting to see when we're going or, goodness gracious, if we're going! All this is a source of immense stress to me until we are actually in the woods. And I am out of the car. Because we did once drive into a deer park, and straight back out again. STAFF muttered that it was closing and we couldn't stay, or something. I am not sure. Couldn't hear THEM very well over the barking!

In any case. Once we are in the woods, STAFF trudge around with THEIR head torches, trying not to fall over stuff. And I, well I get to do my own thing. THEY can't see me! Frreeeddddddoooommmmmm! Of course I check in every now and then. It makes THEM feel better. And me.

Mainly because I get a snack! I have trained THEM well, if I say so myself.... In any case, I used to think it was a bit of a nuisance to have THEM trudge round like great, big lumbering, stumbling Cyclopses. Scaring away all hunteables. But, I now realise that THEY create a marvelous diversion, and when the wildlife flees before the lumbering One-Beamed-Vision, the Grey Ghost Hunter can pounce!

My favourite hunting buddy is a Fox. Cute little thing. We meet most mornings. Have a good run and hunt and then wave good-bye until the next morrow. Here you can see me in Red-Eye hunting mode. Scary, huh?

And I am particularly pleased with this action shot of me hunting the fox. Do you see it? No? Look more closely! Oh, ok, it might not have come out so well, but I was within a whisker of getting him. Oooh, it was exciting!

After that nice hunt I was filled with an immense sense of pride. And satisfaction. I was born to hunt. I love every second of it! And the thrill is in the chase. Catching the fox would totally ruin my fun the next day. Who would I chase then? I am taking a long-term perspective on this. Hunt, let live, hunt again. That's my, not very snappy, motto.

And just look at us here. No wonder we are scaring the wildlife! Makes me chuckle!

And then at home, I get a toweling massage. And to sweeten an already sweet deal, STAFF issue me with a little pile of snacks first.

But I have to wait before I can tuck in. Seconds turn into minutes. Minutes. Into hours. Hours into days. Days into weeks. Weeks into months. Months into years.

And still I am waiting.

And then more waiting before I am allowed to do my morning's biscuit treasure hunt. Really, I feel for those chaps waiting for Godot. I am sure I do more waiting than that!

I wonder whether they ever tried the cute Puppy Pester Look. That normally works for me!

And of course I have been experimenting more with blanket positions and coverage. On a cold afternoon, is there anything better than being snuggly on the sofa?

When the heat builds up I gently unfurl. Making sure I do not lose too much heat!

All in all, autumn is such a busy time. Tomorrow I'll try and get a picture of my friend the fox. If only I could convince him to stand still for long enough! But no matter how much I call after him, he doesn't seem to want to stop. Strange. In any case. I'll try again tomorrow.

Good night.

September - full of ups and downs

2009-10-04T09:56:00.006+02:00

So, September. I like September. It heralds the beginning of autumn. And autumn has plenty of interesting things rustling in the colouring leaves. Oh yes. And some of those very interesting autumnal rustlers are right in my very own home territory. A fox, vulpes vulpes (so good they named him twice!), lives at the bottom of my garden in the ivy covering the garden wall. Moving into a hunting hound's garden takes some courage and I admire that. But I am still going to try and catch the little bugger! Much hunting is, of course, not a matter of high adrenaline chase-excitement, but hours of muscle-cramping stake-out staring.

And here I an in full hunting action mode! I held this pose for hours. There wasn't any movement in the ivy for hours, but as you know, the fox is sly! I knew, as soon as I turned around it would move. I couldn't let that happen! So I stayed. And stared. Regrettably, STAFF have no real understanding of what it means to be a dedicated hunter. So when I started shaking all over from muscle cramp, THEY forced me to go inside and thaw out by a roasting fire. Gaw, THEY can be so despicably mean!

After my disappointment with the fox hunting I was naturally a little wound up. So, imagine my surprised excitement when I chanced upon a squirrel who was paying a lot of attention to gathering nuts, but altogether too little attention to the shadow that started looming behind, blocking out the sun, letting out a mighty roar and pouncing without pity. (Er, that was me, if you didn't get it from the description) So, that squirrel was mine! No more squeaking and chattering at me from the safety of a tree! That little squeaker was dead!

Buoyed by such success and with STAFF taking me on very long morning patrols, crashing through the best woods, at the break of dawn, sniffing, chasing, hunting, I was feeling alive and buzzing! I was a happy chap. No, credit, where credit is due, STAFF made me happy. Until....

.... until THEY forced me out on another early morning jaunt to the woods. Did I mention these jaunts? Forcing me to run for miles through woods? Where did THEY get the idea that I like this kind of stuff? I'm sure I don't know! Anyway, on one of these stupid jaunts, I was traveling backwards along the path, jumping, and conveying a list of grievances to STAFF (all perfectly normal behaviour!) when a tree root jumped up and took out my back leg! Aaarh! I was sure it had been a clean amputation! Ok, so there was no blood. But I could not put my leg down, try as I might. Naturally, one STAFF went immediately to fetch the car and I waited with the other STAFF. And before I could even say "I'm fine, really" I found myself at the vets. Bad. The vet gave me an injection. Double bad. And told STAFF to keep me captive inside the house for at least 1 whole day. Triple bad! And there was nothing even really wrong with my leg. Which I told them. It is all beyond the pale!

So, now I am forced to lie on my bed. And do nothing. I got so bored I fell asleep. Captivity was unbearable. Years had passed. But when I asked STAFF THEY tried to mess with my mind by saying that we only got back from the vet's 5 minutes ago. Is there no end to THEIR depravity?

Incidentally, this monogrammed blanket is just the coziest thing I ever have had! But that is by the by! I have a whole other 1/2 day of this! How will I cope?

Well, actually, I got together with a few other smart canines and we have formed a secret adventure gang. I am totally incognito now. Smart, eh! Now I can go on adventures STAFF won't even know anything about.

I just hope that I can also resume my morning and evening patrols soon. I do so miss my trips to the woods.

By the way, there are no logical inconsistencies in this. It all makes perfect sense to me! If you think it doesn't, well, perhaps you need to study the Weimaraner School of Logic in some more detail. I am offering correspondence courses for the serious student.

Tis the season for....?

2009-09-18T10:56:00.003+02:00

So, as you can see I'm battening down the hatches in my ever present struggle to stay warm.

Now, you and I - we are smart. Does this look to you like I am planning to spend some nights outside? Protected only by a thin layer of canvas from the elements? Why oh why, when common sense was given out, did STAFF say "no, thanks, not for me!"? And, why oh why, do THEY not listen to me and my subtle hints?

I had better enjoy the warmth whilst I can!

____________________________________

Addendum:

Actually, I've had a change of heart! Amazing what a bit of sunshine can do!

Danger gleams like sunshine to a brave Weimy's eyes! Bring it on!

That's not enough to make me tired!

2009-09-17T13:32:00.006+02:00

So, STAFF got one of those iphone thingies. Apparently, I spend too much time on the Mac and THEY want to occasionally get online, too. Pah, feeble excuse. THEY should own up to THEIR love of gadgetry and weak resistance to anything shiny.

Anyway, with this iphone comes a nice app which lets you check how far and fast and up and down you walked. Now, this was an eye-opener! All I got this morning was 3km through the woods. Ok, so this is what THEY walked. I had to run more. Why? Well, STAFF put on no entertainment at all, so I had to find my own stuff to do. You know, track the foxes and madly crash through the undergrowth, creep up behind rabbits and say "Booo!" and watch them scram real quick (cracks me up every time), see how many squirrels I could get up a tree with one bark, track the fowl. You know, the kind of things you gotta do because otherwise you'd be totally bored hanging out with STAFF.

Well, as you can see, none of this is enough to tire me out! Here I am lying wide awake and being consoled by Larry Lamb. I just hope tomorrow we'll do a longer round! Maybe I should carry that iphone thingy. See how far I go. I'll be real careful with it. Honest!

______________________________________

PS: I am so cold I had to re-locate!

And STAFF are talking about going camping. WHAT? Without me, you FOOLS! Where do THEY get the idea from that I might enjoy camping? In this weather?

outstaring a goat....or not....

2009-09-15T22:32:00.003+02:00

Today I tried to outstare a goat. I was totally focussed. I was not blinking. Eyes straight ahead on the goat. It was going well! I could almost taste success! But then... a smell, a sound, and aaaahhhh, I looked away. I lost. Dang it! That wasn't fair! It was two against one.

Indian summer camping....nice

2009-09-13T19:12:00.026+02:00

So, STAFF finished off some sort of big project at work and wanted to celebrate by getting out and about for the weekend. And as the sun was shining, for the first time in weeks, I was all for it! So, we packed up the Gangmobil and left at the crack of dawn. And then we arrived at the field which was to be our new home.

I loved it! I found the nicest spot and put down my towel, er, bed straight away! After all, I am 1/2 German...
But before I had even started bronzing between my tootsies we were off again. To the Monsal trail, just around the corner from our home from home. I need no signpost! (Except for reading and leaving messages...). I could smell the water all the way from here! To the river - this way! Come on!
So, the river was down some really big, steep stone steps. STAFF had me all clipped in. A mistake, I should think. I was in a rush! I cannot hang about waiting for slowcoaches! Thankfully an unsuspecting woman at the bottom of the steps stopped STAFF's headlong plunge into the river. I sensed that I was not so popular just then, and thought it best to move on...
To make up for, what STAFF clearly perceived to be misdemeanor, I gave THEM my sweetest smile. Smiling is easy when you're in the water!
And there was even good fishing to be had! I caught two! One big stick - which I had there and then. Raw! Arrrrrrr.... it feels good to get in touch with your inner canine on these hunting trips! And I caught a shiny pebble to boot. But it was very small and, compassionate guy and responsible hunter I am, I put it back in the river. I'll getcha later when you are big and strong and it's a fair fight!
I drank gallons of this water. It tasted so good! There is simply nothing like the taste of river water, puddle water, lake water or Evian.
Regrettably, we moved on from the river. My attempts to abseil down the bridge to get back to the water were frowned upon by STAFF and frankly nipped in the bud. Tcchhhhh... no sense of adventure THAT lot. Sure, I didn't have a rope. So? Sure, THEY had to wade through a river once before to rescue me. So? That's why I let THEM tag along. For emergencies.
I am still trying to think how to evade the PARTY POOPERS' surveillance.
Then again, there was some other good stuff to smell and I was happy to bide my time until another opportunity might present itself.
And, oh my, STAFF carried provisions. YUMMY! Come to Papa, baby! I am using my Jedi mind-bending technique to get STAFF to hand over some of the crunchy goodness. And it worked! Course it did. THEY are no match for a Jedi!
All in all a very good outing. What can I say. I had a really good time!
And we're back to our home from home. Nice spot, don't you think? And yes, STAFF make all 3 of us sleep in that tiny canvas number. I would have gone for something bigger myself, but hey ho. I have enough space at night. And all the blankets. And that's all that really matters.
The great thing whilst out camping, is that you can get all these Free Scent Samples. I am totally stuffing my pockets full of those, figuratively speaking. Yummy!
And a small break.... This is one of the best parts. You can see the thoughts on STAFFs' faces. "Oh, we didn't bring any soap. Oooooh, we can smell Otto from here. Ah, we're all in a small tent." Teehee, that made me smile!
And because you can never smell quite strong enough, I am applying more of the special samples. It is simply wonderful!
After all that activity, STAFF and I retreat to the tent for a pre-dinner snooze. I am, of course not tired at all, as you can see. But I like to humour THEM on occasion. Plus, there were lots of pesky wasps about outside the tent, so we all went the path of least resistance.
With the evening, and most importantly dinner time (!), approaching, we brave the great outdoors again. I am putting my ear to the ground to see whether I can hear any small, tender, wooly, baa-ing snacks approaching. Nothing! Also, I am secretly putting on more Free Samples whilst simultaneously eating some yummy stuff. You really have to see it to believe my masterful technique.
STAFFs' faces when THEY realised that I smelled even better now really cracked me up!
Oh, but STAFF took terrible revenge. Here I have to watch THEM eat, whilst I am going hungry. Now, why do I always have to eat last? Huh?! Do I look happy to wait? Do I? Course not.
But finally fed and watered I retreat to the comfort of the Gangmobil to watch the sun set. I am very toasty. STAFF look cold to me. Perhaps THEY should have brought some blankets? You know, in addition to the two I clearly needed?
In the morning, after a cold night, I chanced upon a heavenly heap. Like a mirage it appeared before me! You wouldn't have to roll in this! This you could dive into headfirst and do a frontcrawl, eat some on the way, and emerge a total Babe Magnet! Ooooohhhh, I could hardly believe my luck! -- Sadly, I spent too much time in shivery anticipation and wasn't quick enough with the action. STAFF, most cruelly, intercepted my morning swim.
I was watching the sun rise over our home from home. Hoping that it would bring warming rays! After a cold night it was still barely 5ºC and I was hungry and cold to boot.
Nice view or no, I still did not enjoy watching STAFF gobble down a nice hot cooked breakfast, whilst I had, you guessed it, nothing.
Finally, some grub. And kept warm by my nice winter coat. Aaaah, better. Much, much better!

The only slight concern I have is that STAFF might think we should go again. I am a bit concerned temperature-wise. But I really do enjoy these camping trips.

It feels like my birthday's come early!

2009-09-01T22:49:00.013+02:00

I am 10 years old now! Does that mean I have to act maturely all the time? I hope not! I certainly didn't manage to show much restraint with opening the cool parcels I received from all over the world. I have so many friends! I am really lucky! ..... You should see STAFF on THEIR birthdays - lucky if THEY get one card between THEM. Anyway, I digress.

Trouble is that people always package stuff in such a way that it is very hard to open without opposable thumbs. This package was all the way from two very cute Weimaraner ladies in South Carolina, USA. Oh, yes! Even the packaging smelled nnnnnnnice! If you catch my meaning.

Luckily I employ STAFF, who - with some supervision - can operate scissors and help me gain access to the promising package of delights!
As soon as it was open I went right in there. Aw, the scents were giving me goosebumps!

And look at the cool stuff they sent! A lion! I shall call him Leo. He shall be my BFF and I shall never, ever, ever, ever play with another toy! It was love at first sight and it will never, ever, ever die! Leo and I shall be friends, even when.....hold on!

Is that really a Squirrel? SQUIRREL! Move over Lionel, Leo, whatver! Cyril Squirrel is my new BFF and I shall love him forever!

Aw, I feel bad. Leo looked so saaaad. Come on you guys! My slobberchops are big enough to kill both of you!

There, that's better, isn't it?

And a birthday card, too! How sweet! How thoughtful!

Wow, I wonder what special stuff could be wrapped in Hello Kitty paper?

Oh my! Doggles! How very, very cool!

I am so totally an adventurer!

I am making plans for much excitement this year! Hopefully the STAFF will be able to keep up!

Preparing for an adventure holiday with Dr. Otto Jones

2009-08-28T18:59:00.004+02:00

The STAFF, no doubt in an attempt to suck up to me (which I always like to encourage), have mentioned that we're going on an adventure holiday. Excellent!

In preparation for the adventure I dusted down my Indiana Jones hat. Now, all I need is adventure, somewhere to dig, new places to smell and eat out every night. And I am sure that looking like Dr Otto "Indy" Jones cannot hurt when making the acquaintance of any l-adees I might meet on the trip.

The STAFF are useless

2009-08-27T22:05:00.003+02:00

I really am punished with the most incompetent and useless STAFF.

This is me this afternoon. Now, look at this picture carefully. With the information available to you, judging from my expression, levels of activity, etc. (and bearing in mind that the same information was available to STAFF), would you say that I look like I'd like to:

Have a baby and small dominant terrier lady visiting
go swimming for hours against jets and without flotation aids
be left alone to sleep

Answers are at the bottom of the page. But you already know what the answer is, don't you? And was it hard to get to the right answer? And you also know which two things STAFF put me through, one after the other.

I am sooooo tired.

I think I am going to look for new STAFF. Applications from qualified people are welcome!

_________________________________________________

The correct answer is: 3

you know what they say about dogs with big paws....

2009-08-26T17:44:00.002+02:00

Sometimes, to get really comfy, you just have to stretch out all paws and then you can relaaaaaaaax. Ah, bliss.

nothing like a little bit of a schnuzzle....

2009-08-24T21:52:00.003+02:00

After my quite tiring weekend, and with the evenings getting a little cooler, I have to try that bit harder to get cozy.

I'd say I managed nicely here....Night, night.

Weimaranering on Stanton Moor

2009-08-23T15:10:00.011+02:00

Well, what do you know. First you cannot drag the STAFF off the sofa for love nor money and then THEY make us go into complete overdrive.

So, I found myself on this beautiful Sunday morning in the middle of the Peak District on top of Stanton Moor with the world just full of beautiful opportunities for any Weimy out there willing to seize them.

And willing I was. It was just tricky to decide on where to go first. Left? Right? Straight on? Ah, sod it. Just go everywhere.

If only STAFF were faster walkers and there wouldn't always be these hours of downtime. I sooooo loathe waiting.

Apparently there was a nice view for STAFF. Not as nice as the smells were for this little Weimy. Very fragrant, full of notes of delicious wildlife. If only I could get some!

With such slow coaches on board there is always a lot of herding that needs doing. What do THEY take me for - a border collie? Honestly, a Weimy's work is just never done!

Good that I managed to hunt down and kill this stick. That made me feel a lot better and released quite a bit of tension.

And then when I saw this stone circle I got the idea for a very cunning plan. If I say so myself. I decided to sit down and blend in with the stones and then just remain still, completely still like a Ninja Weimy, until some unsuspecting wildlife would walk straight into my open chops and BAM! Dead. Dinner. But alas, after sitting still for days. Or perhaps hours. Well minutes. Ok, well, seconds. Anyway, I lost patience and wandered off. A good plan in principle, but you probably need the patience of anything a lot more patient than me to execute it.

All in all a very good trip out. I cannot help but smile. But now I must sleep. When STAFF are in this kinda mood, you just never know what adventure awaits you next. Good that I am a practised power napper. Night night.

deer stalking

2009-08-22T17:54:00.001+02:00

I went about my business when we chanced on a herd of big SNACKS!

The only trouble is that STAFF saw them, too, and clicked me into my most hated harness.

Try as I might I could not think of a way to get there. Ah, sometimes you just have to face up to disappointment and hope that there'll be a day when you can be quicker than STAFF and get yourself a nice bit of venison.... Hope springs eternal!

Of course, had I been eating venison I would not have needed to argue with an aggressive pitbull. So, I'd say STAFF made the wrong call there on so many fronts.

walking through clouds

2009-08-15T21:24:00.017+02:00

So, you look at the weather forecast, it says "rain", what do you do? Well, any sensible person might get a paper and some nice food (!) and plan for a nice relaxing day on the sofa. The STAFF, as you know, do not fall into this wonderful category and in THEIR wisdom planned a 6 mile hike through the Goyt Valley in the Peak District. And I had no choice but to tag along.
At first, I was having fun. The sun was sort of shining and I could scamp about to my heart's content. STAFF were looking at some ruins. How dull. I was looking for food - how exciting!
I am smiling away in the sunshine. At this point no one had taken the trouble to apprise me of the length of this jaunt. I am smiling the smile of all innocent dogs anywhere who can't read maps...
And you see so many great things out in the country. Like walking snacks! Yum! I was going for a sort of Wild West impression.... This path is too small for all of us. Leave now and I shall hunt you. Stay there and I shall hunt you! A clear win-win situation, apart from the fact that STAFF had clipped me into a harness which makes running at speed quite difficult. THEY always do that when there are nice big wooly snacks around. It is most frustrating!

Still, I enjoyed scampering through the long grass. Long grass has the advantage that it hides from view all exciting things, but not from the nostrils. In other words, I can find things that STAFF don't even dream about. And what THEY don't know about, THEY cannot stop you from snacking on.

As you can see, I am rather pleased with my efforts. I had me a good number of interesting things. Trouble with scampering through long grass is that you get grass seeds in your ears. Those are particularly tricky to remove when you lack a small finger and the kind of elbows that allow you to put the little finger in your ear and wiggle. That, and the ability to open cupboards and food containers, has to be the only advantage of bi-ped anatomy.Teehee! STAFF were trying to take a picture - pretty annoying. And there is always that point where THEY are not entirely sure where you are and the lens is going all over the place. So, I kept low, snuck up and at the right moment BOO! Haha. STAFF nearly dropped that camera. I was chuckling to myself for ages after that.

And I seized the opportunity to clamber up some hills to show STAFF who is King of these hills! It was also so windy. STAFF, who don't have 4PawDrive, nearly got blown off the path a couple of times. It was very funny. THEY looked like THEY walked when THEY have partaken in the imbibing of a whole half pint of weak ale.
With hindsight I should have been more worried about the pretty clouds building up in the background. And then with the wind and whatnot and all, suddenly the clouds were not above us, or behind us or anything but all around us and we were walking through the driving rain inside a cloud. I hate getting wet. Unless I am swimming. There's no pictures of the torrential downpour, because we don't have an underwater camera.But here you can see the path we've just come up and the white stuff lying on it, which is a rain cloud. Eeeugh!

I was trying to encourage STAFF to hurry. I could see the clouds were closing in on us again! Thankfully, I had packed my Kagool, otherwise I should have been drenched. Now, correct me if I am wrong, but I am sure when I was a puppy the summers were warmer and longer, well, you know, more than just one day.

Back in the car, I crashed down on my blanket immediately. As you can see my accommodation is very basic. The STAFF totally make me rough it. After 6 miles up and down hills and through torrential rain and all I slept quite nicely on the way back.

And you know, I actually enjoyed myself. I wonder where we are going next weekend? I'd say adventures are totally back on the menu!

of back aches, memory foam, boredom and dressing up...

2009-08-11T10:26:00.006+02:00

So, my back's been giving me a bit of trouble. Not sure why. The swimming was great for everything else. A sore back is pretty depressing, I tell you! You cannot run properly AND it is hard to find a comfy way to lie down, too. That's two of my favourite activities ruined!

I sought to remedy the situation by asking for a kind donation of an ottoman. I had seen some Weimaraner friends in the US of A with one and, boy, did I like the look of them (the Weim ladies, too, ahem). No point in asking the STAFF for one. As you know THEY are more tightfisted than seems humanly possible..... Anyway, I asked for a donation, and whilst I had an assurance that someone had very kindly sent one it has not arrived yet. I think it is the old "cheque's in the post chestnut".

The only other option was to make it very clear to the STAFF that I was not comfortable anywhere. Whilst THEY are tightfisted as anything in buying me even the smallest bit of luxury, like say, a room sized ottoman (I mean, hello, it's even called Otto!)...anyway, whilst THEY would not buy me even the smallest bit of luxury THEY are total suckers for buying anything that's healthy or wholesome in some way.

So, before you know it, THEY arrived back from the pet store, not with the ottoman I had asked for, but with some memory foam bed number. Apparently the ultimate in pet luxury and comfort you could ask for. As you can see, I am not so sure....Yes, it is supportive. Yes, it is comfy. Yes, it is wholesome and healthy and my back doesn't hurt. But, is it fun? Nope, not one bit.

Thankfully, I could convey that message and make it very clear that one memory foam bed was not enough. So, THEY ordered me a second one of the interweb. In the meantime, I hunted and killed a soft furred creature and when the bed arrived I covered it in the pelt of my own kill. Now, that is fun!

As you can see, I feel like the Lord of the Manor, nay, like the King of the World, whilst lying on the memory foam cored furry goodness! Ah, I am regal!
Trouble is, when I was sleeping, Larry 'Bad Ass Attitude' Lamb crept up on me and totally pushed me off my bed. That dented my hunter's pride somewhat....

Because of my bad back, the evil vet decided to only allow me very short walks and only on the condition that I drag STAFF on some kind of attachment behind me. I got quite bored with that. So, I started to do a bit of dressing up. Here I am giving my best 'Don the Reindeer' impression. Do you think we look alike? Maybe dogs start looking like their toys? That would be baaaaad. But not as baaaad as if I started looking like the STAFF.
And this is my favourite. Apparently, I look like Hugh Heffner. Cool, now where's my bunnies?

Yawning is contagious

2009-07-26T15:05:00.004+02:00

I looked at the picture of a very cute Weimaraner girl yawning today. And this is what happened.....

How long can you look at my picture before your jaws start twitching and you feel the irresistible urge to .....fight it.... fight it..... ooooooaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyaaaaaawwwnnnnnnnnn.....

Speeding without speedos

2009-07-23T21:31:00.009+02:00

You never know where a car journey might take you. Well, unless it is to the v.e.t.s. You can tell those trips from the stress hormones the STAFF exude.

On a hot day, like today, the STAFF have the car windows open, and my fan going and I can tell pretty soon what route we're taking. So, I knew we were off to go swimming. Ah, well, it is good for my arthritis. And I was feeling a little stiff after hunting squirrels today, so I decided to be cooperative. And why not? Not that big a deal, if you don't act like that all the time.

But before we hopped (read: were thrown in) the pool, I had a chance to soak up some rays and hope for the local goats to make an appearance. Nothing like a staring competition with a goat. Even though I have to admit that I often blink first, dangit!

And into the waves. I think I look totally fierce here. Like jaws! Only sleeker and meaner! If you manage to look past the 80s headband and orange life jacket, that is. Come on, try harder! See it now?

And then out of the pool, a quick hippie-hippie-shake and bang down the door to the tuck shop.

And after all these exertions can you really blame me for kicking back and relaxing under my favourite cat blanket?

A very exhausting day indeed. But tomorrow I shall be all supple again and no little aches and pains for me. All in all, I'd have to say it's worth it.

The Great Pig Swindle of Snottingham

2009-07-23T12:40:00.003+02:00

I was conned. Cruelly. By the STAFF. THEY came back from shopping and when I did the customary bag inspection, THEY trilled happily that THEY got me a little something. In response to my inquiring look THEY said: "We got you a pig". Well, my heart nearly thumped out through my thorax in excited joy! Focus, I told myself. Focus! Now was not the time to mess things up. A whole pig! After hours of fumbling in the bag, the STAFF got it out and presented it to me. I had not felt this happy in months, years, ever! - and ran off at high speed to my soft eating area, reserved for eating special treats.

I sort of knew something was wrong. I had seen pigs before and they seemed, well, big. So, I was surprised I could carry a whole one in my mouth, just like that. And then more things began to feel wrong.... like the taste.... and the texture.... and well, everything!

And suddenly realisation hit me like a streak of bacon in the face - only not at all like bacon in a very important way. It's a toy. 'Amusingly' shaped like a pig. It's an oinking toy, would you believe!? My disappointment was limitless and crushing. As you can imagine, I have not looked at the pig, or the STAFF, since this incident. I am treating all of them with the disdain they deserve.

I know TWO people, who are completely off my Christmas list.

weimaraner water baby

2009-07-14T17:12:00.003+02:00

Hydrotherapy - much talked about fountain of youth! Here you can see me in action!

And I shall show you soon just how floppy I am after those sessions. Bye, bye arthritis! Hello joie de vivre!

at least Doggy understands me...

2009-07-13T22:29:00.009+02:00

wherever I lay my head had better be comfy and cosy. Frankly, I have had a bit of a stressful day. Full of leaks, plumbers, stress..... Pffffftttt.

I do so hate it when the STAFF call intruders to the house. These people turning up with their tools and whatnot and I am under strict order not to kill them. Or bite them. Or take a nibble. Or even bark at them for an appropriate amount of time.

It is very exhausting to engage in this counter-instinctual behaviour. So, once the excitement was over, I needed to find me a place where I could kick back and relax. A place where I could hang out with my buddy Doggy, who understands me. Not with the STAFF who, frankly, did not please me today.

After my schnuzzle with my buddy, I may be ready to give THEM another chance for tomorrow.

But for now, I am shutting the world out. Good night.

rubber sticks are great!

2009-07-11T10:05:00.015+02:00

I got myself a new toy. I am so full of energy now and no niggly aches and pains. Nothing! And it is all down to this wonderful hydrotherapy I get. Hydrotherapy = joie de vivre! Anyway, last time we were at hydrotherapy I spotted these cool new toys. Sticks, but made from rubber by ruff dawgs. Totally safe! I indicated to the STAFF that I wanted one, and, naturally, THEY bought it. THEY are soft as anything when I go swimming. Well, most of the time really. And one day, THEY will get me a pig's ear in the tuck shop, I just know it. But, yes, my new toy.

So, this morning we took it to the Best Wood, handed it to the STAFF who can throw slightly better than the other one, and offffffffff I went!
Overshot it a little bit on the first go. After all, I had been totally out of practice with the whole playing thing.
So, we're having another go.
And - PERFECT! Got it in one.
I also scooped up quite a lot of grass with that one.
But I quickly got rid off that, so that I could pose with my kill! Hah!
But being in the Best woods is not all fun and games! There is also quite a lot of wee-mail that needs reading and replying to. Even though I wish the STAFF would have the grace not to take pictures during these private, er, conversations.

And there's always quite a lot of exploring to do. But the key is to look non-chalant, whatever you are up to. That way I landed me a little rabbit the other week. The STAFF will claim that it was already dead when I found it. Pah! I caught it fair and square. Maybe it wasn't moving very fast, but still. Well, not moving very fast, in a not at all sort of way. I still chalked it up as my kill. So, there. And it was very tasty. Both the first and the second time I ate it. If you get my meaning. Although, I could have done with some Schnapps to ease it through the system a bit more...

Anyway, all in all, I am having a great time! Would you know it - I am a totally happy kinda guy right now!

All the activity has left me slightly tired. I am resting on my timeshare. A splendid arrangement I have with the STAFF: I get it during the day and THEY get it at night. Unless there are fireworks or thunderstorms. Then we all share.

Night, night. See you later for evening patrol. Until then, be off!

keeping cool, but not too cool, in the heatwave

2009-07-01T23:18:00.013+02:00

Whoaaa. Heatwave. Too hot to type. Too hot to think. Can only lie in front of the fan.

But at least it means that my washing is drying fast!

Heatwave or no. When there is sun, you have to go outside and soak up the rays. It's a cultural thing!

And to cool yourself down - Astromarmite popsicles!

A whole tray full of frozen goodness. Yum!

It's best to have them in the shade. And they cool you down enough to return straight back into the sun. Excellent!

Mmmhhh, mmmmhhh, mmmmhh. Ice-cream!

And crunch, crunch, crunch it's gone! Sometimes the STAFF do have good ideas!

After Dinner Exercises

2009-06-27T10:06:00.001+02:00

Every evening needs a bit of entertainment. I have my red ball. Filled with tasty snacks. I trained the STAFF into filling it. The deal is that I go out for a wee after breakfast and dinner - which I don't like (going out I don't like, I love breakfast and dinner!) - and the STAFF fill me my red ball with treats. Yum!

Come to Otto Schnuff, little Biscuits! Come, come, come.

When I first got the red ball, I believed the STAFFs' instructions and was running around with it rolling on the floor. But then I quickly realised that you can achieve the same effect whilst lying on the floor, on a soft and warm rug. Without moving much at all. As I have a keen interest in all nutritional matters I know that the fewer calories you burn whilst eating food the more calories you get to keep from the food. Economy of movement is, yet again, a key principle!

The instant the last biscuit has made its way out of the ball and into my chops, I lose interest in that thing completely. Boring! So totally yesterday!

And then the exercises begin. Essentially this training is 101 easy ways to tell the STAFF that you really would care for another biscuit, or two. As you can imagine, the STAFF took a while to pick up on the general principles, but now it is going ok.

Here I am demonstrating one easy way of getting a biscuit and exuberant praise: Lie on a comfy rug (couldn't lie on the hard floors, natch! Ordered those soft little wool rugs tailor-made for me!). Anyway, lie there until the STAFF call you. And get a biscuit. Easy.

What is devilishly difficult is a slight variety on the Do-nothing=get-biscuit. Here the STAFF cruelly put a tempting biscuit right in front of you. But you mustn't eat it, NO! THEY get very upset when you do. When you exercise supreme self-control and don't take it, you get that one AND another one. Leaving it is therefore the only rational decision.

And then, THEY up the ante further by putting snacks on your paws!

And with 3 tasty snacks, within reach, within sight and smell, you have to wait.

Sometimes I have to lie there for days! I have the self-control of any Zen master by now.

And when your work is done, the STAFF are rightly proud! And I reward THEM by cuddling up on the sofa for a bit before I retreat to the peace and quiet of my own bed. I need my rest, so that I am ready for the next day.

My days are filled with fun.

Summer sun - and the livin' is easy...

2009-06-26T12:22:00.008+02:00

Ahhh, summer's here. Time to go extreme sunbathing. Find a sunny spot. Stand in it. Look pitiful. Wait for the STAFF to come waddling out with your bed. Start extreme sunbathing. You don't know how? Well, let me tell you what to do. It takes a bit of practise, but I am sure you could learn.

To begin with: Lie in the sun.

Start pre-heating very gently. Stay upright, in case you haven't the best spot and movement should be necessary. Economy of movement is of the utmost importance. Should an archenemy (e.g. postal worker) appear at the front door, then the rules of Extreme Sunbathing permit you to bark from the comfort of your sunny spot. Don't move, whatever happens!

If the spot is good and you are at a good angle to the sun, lie flat and expose as much surface area as you can. That way you'll get nice and toasty in no time at all.

Perfect the art of panting whilst lying on your face. That way you can stay in the sun until you are just about to pass out from the heat. Now move into the shade. Stay there until you have cooled down by a couple of degrees (this should not take more than 4 1/2 minutes).

Repeat process all day. Or until the sun goes in. If that happens before dinner time, look at the STAFF in an accusing fashion. It probably IS their fault. Somehow.

When Extreme Sunbathing is done right, it provides hours of exciting bliss. Sure, it is tiring, but the rewards are immense. Go on. Spoil yourself. Try it!

PS: In the event of the Sun going in or the Wind picking up, switch to Plan B.

If you feel even the slightest discomfort outside, say from a breezy breeze, retreat indoors immediately. Do not hesitate, or you may get cold!

Indoor Extreme Sunbathing can be conducted by the same principles as the outdoor version.

You do however have to keep an eye on the STAFF, lest THEY get it in THEIR silly heads to close the blinds, which reduces the heat. Why are THEY so cruel?

But if the STAFF are nowhere near the blinds and you have a comfy spot, just go to sleep.

Not a bad second choice, at all!

guarding the weak, young and flightless is tiring work

2009-06-21T22:03:00.006+02:00

I am sooo tired. I have been guarding the fledging blackbirds from the cats all day.

Cats. Honestly. Huh!
I am extremely tired now and have put the STAFF in charge of any further guarding duties. I have already missed out on 4 hours daytime napping and I could not possibly forego any more.

Let's hope the little fluffballs will make it through the night. AND learn to fly soon!

swimming - the fountain of youth!

2009-06-19T14:41:00.003+02:00

So, I've been swimming a few times now. And it is great! A brisk swim against the most powerful jet streams you can imagine! Then the most sensational relaxation in the hot tub. Quick shower and rub down. Tuck shop and home. I'm going every week now and I am absolutely loving it!

I have not felt so good in years! My legs don't ache. And my muscles bulge. I could move mountains! I could fell trees with my bare paws and get me some squirrel snacks. I could run a marathon. Twice. In one day. I could do anything I wanted to!

Right now, though, I am having a snooze with my buddy Larry Lamb.

You would, too, if you could. Wouldn't you?

Tomorrow, I'll be ready for action again. Life, I am telling you, is good.

hydrotherapy spa treatment...aaaah...jacuzzi

2009-05-28T16:04:00.014+02:00

As you know I have been spraining my paws a lot. No wonder, what with the STAFF forcing me to run through the woods every morning. Well, force is maybe too harsh a term. I admit that I do enjoy the woods, unless, that is, I sprain my paw. Anyway, I digress.

So, the STAFF have decided to do something sensible and have started taking me to get hydrotherapy. We go to this really swish place - it has really nice staff and is very hygienic: the facilities are for clean canines only. No smelly bipeds.

Aaaah, I do enjoy me a trip to the spa. I am not sure why I need the orange jacket. I am a fantastic swimmer! I could keep going for hours, nay days, weeks. But rules are rules and I put it on.

And before I could even say 'What ho, my man!', I had been lifted into the pool. And off we went! Paddle, paddle, spread the toes, kick the legs, splash, splash, splash, splash. Wow, I did not realise that this would be such hard work. After what felt like hours, they tried to tell me I had been swimming for 5 minutes. What? Well, 5 minutes in Weimaraner time is probably like 5 hours STAFF time.

Anyway, think 5 minutes of swimming doesn't sound like much? Well, go on, try it! Be my guest (find your own pool though!). But no breaks, mind. No pauses. No hanging on to the side. No, no, no! And no widdling in the pool! A, because it's gross and B, it costs £20 extra.

I enjoyed having a rest. Especially with my new friend Steve who knows how to put you at ease and all.

And then more swimming. Another full five minutes! I have to admit to a little bit of puff-cheekedness on that second round. E.x.h.a.u.s.t.i.n.g.!

And after all that exertion, my fair and just reward! The hot jacuzzi!

Sure, getting in and out on the harness-hoist is not great.

But so totally worth it when you get in! Ah, hot water. Massaging you. Soothing your tired limbs. I could stay in here for hours. In fact, I have put a hot tub on my, as ever modest and reasonable, wish list. I hope the STAFF are not too tight-fisted! And I sincerely hope that THEY don't think I would let THEM share my hot tub!

After the hot tub I feel so relaxed that even the b.a.t.h. is not all that bad.

Nor that big hot air dryer thing. Makes me go all fluffy and such.

And then off to the tuck shop for a well-earned snack! Yummy!

And after all that, I can just about manage to climb on the sofa, find a comfy, sunny spot and 3, 2, 1, zzzzzzz.....zzzzzz.....zzzzzz

My whole body feels all relaxed and supple and nimble and strong. I love it! I'm going again next week. This time I'll take my own cash, and when the STAFF aren't looking, I'll get one (or two) of everything from the tuck shop.

I think I'll even go back when my paws are fine again. It is just soooo much fun!

warm weekend in wales (really!)

2009-05-25T17:34:00.016+02:00

I was a little concerned when the STAFF put the bathtub on the car and got the camping gear together. The weather hadn't been great and I did not fancy spending a weekend sitting in the tent, with the STAFF all wet and miserable (and, frankly, smelly...) just because THEY never have the sense to bring enough towels and blankets to keep everyone dry and warm. Of course, there are ALWAYS enough blankets to keep me warm. First things first, eh!

So, I was a bit concerned when we set off.

But when we arrived I was well chuffed. A big field, with a nice view, and great smells (bacon, sausage, burger, sheep poo, fox poo, cow poo... etc, you get the picture)! I was surveying my new digs with much joy and anticipation for adventure!

But no adventure on an empty tummy, I always say. Well, nothing is much good when your tummy is empty. But anyway, there is something to be said for al fresco dining. Not least because I am convinced the STAFF hand out bigger portions during these trips. Just as well, really! With all this fresh air, I found myself with a very healthy appetite

Here you see me enjoying a nice relaxing spot of breakfast, in the great outdoors. I was taking my time and savouring the food. And yet I was done in 82 seconds flat (+ cleaning bowl and drinking time).

I wish the STAFF would follow my example and speed up THEIR meal times, so that we could get going. I was power napping whilst THEY got ready. No point wasting time and energy!

A least I had a nice spot of sunshine to warm the belly and help the breakfast go down. Aaaah, outdoor living!

And then off to some adventures! Like here in the grounds of Chirk castle.

And more lying in the sun. What's not to like?

Still, after a day of adventuring and all, I was quite tired and changed my Mount Batchelor pad day bed for my comfy bed. After all, it is important to get the idea across that not everyone wants to rough it. Sure, the STAFF like to think that they are getting back to nature (whatever that means... had they left nature at some point?), but I, I like to be comfortable.

And what is better than watching the sun set over the Welsh hills? And from the comfort of your own bed? It was splendid I tell you!

A magnificent sight, don't you think?

All that staring in the sun made my eyes a bit tender, so I thought I'd give the STAFF's shades a go. THEY can keep them, I tell you. I looked a fool! Not that THEY don't. Well, if someone has to look a fool, I'd rather it wasn't me!

swimming is tiring and makes hungry!

2009-05-19T17:23:00.005+02:00

I went for my first trip to the hydrotherapy pool today - for my iffy paws. Wow it was tiring.As you can imagine, these paws can shift quite a bit of water! And shift water they did!
But it was all rather tiring. The hoist, the swimming, the jacuzzi (!), the shower and the blow-drying. All a bit scary, you know. My bath assistants were super nice though. So that was good.

But it was a lot of work and I am still waiting for my dinner.

I am not sure yet what to make of it all. Right now, I am going to have a snooze.

I'm going again next week - maybe I'll take some pictures then.

sea, sand and a bit of sun

2009-05-17T16:34:00.018+02:00

As you know, my bladder and paw have given me a bit of (unrelated!) trouble recently. But after some awful weeks, I am much better now. The old bladder is jolly fine again and no more sign of any infection. Paw's still giving me a bit of trouble, but nothing major. With all that behind me, I could finally kick back and relax a little bit. And what better way to enjoy spring and the approaching summer than to plan a trip to the seaside.

With that in mind, I did a bit of pre-tanning in the garden. I had to be ready for some seriously sunny sunshining wet water fun at the beach.

Then on Friday, the STAFF packed up the car and a mere 5 hours later we were there. Too late for the beach, but I was ready to go the next morning.

Now what I did not realise is that the North of England is a season behind. So, we arrived in dense haar at the beach. Haar, what is that, you ask. Well, it is really really bad fog.

And as you can see, we could see nothing.

If you look at my facial expression, you can see that I am not as happy as I thought I would be. Partly because of the haar. And partly because I can never quite remember whether sea water tastes nice or not. Note to self: not! I'll try and remember that for next time.

But, the next morning, it was b-eautiful and sunny. Really, really gorgeous. And the STAFF even remembered my ringzinger toy, which went and went and went a treat on the sand.

I was in such a good mood that I even posed for the STAFF to take a picture with my kill, once I brought the ringzinger down. A glorious moment.

But then I had to jump straight back into action. I wasn't sure whether I had seen some movement. Quick! The ringzinger had to be killed good and proper, so it could not run off again. You know how it is, nothing personal.

Ah, the sweet smile of success!

I was so happy on the beach, and I smiled at the STAFF so that THEY would get the idea. I did not, I say I did not, want to leave. Why would you?

But as you could have guessed, it was all to no avail. After no time at all the STAFF dragged me to the car, ready to leave. And I was not happy. And I did not mind showing it. Not that the STAFF noticed. THEY drove off with me anyway.

If you excuse me now, I have to sleep. Good night.

Please tell the STAFF that I feel fine!

2009-04-07T08:56:00.007+02:00

So, back to the vets to check out the lump in my leg. Apparently it is just a sprained muscle. I'm sure I told you! In any case, I feel just fine, and would be quite happy to go running again. Honestly! All this sitting around is making me feel stir-crazy... but the vet convinced the STAFF that I should be rested more. I can't take it anymore! I miss the woods. The smells. The freedom!

The only slight sliver of hope is that I will start going swimming in a couple of weeks, some kind of hydrotherapy. I imagine it is going to be exactly like the Walchensee.

Ah, memories of happier days...

The STAFF showed me some details of the place on the interweb, but there is no picture of the actual lake I'll get to swim in. No doubt it is just an oversight! And look at that poor fellow in the hoist. Thankfully this has nothing to do with me...Phew!

waiting... waiting... worry

2009-04-05T11:15:00.005+02:00

So, I'm back to waiting. No more running in the woods. No more running in the evening. No more running, full stop.

It all went downhill on Tuesday night when the STAFF exploited an evening cuddling session and felt my front leg, screeched something about a lump and dragged me to the v.e.t. the next day. The v.e.t. (v.ery- e.vil - t.raitor) said I could do NO exercise ever again (apparently on the calendar that date falls on Monday. Whatever.).

The STAFF seem worried. Not sure why. I am pretty sure it is just a torn muscle. I'm making use of the sunshine as I am waiting. Might as well. You cannot direct the wind, but you can adjust your sails, as I always say. If there's to be no exercise, you have to maximise the enjoyment of life's calmer pleasures.

I am sure the STAFF could learn a lot from my calm attitude. Don't you agree?

We'll know more on Monday. I'm hoping that I get to go swimming in the pool to help with my recovery. Paws crossed, eh!

keep on running -- up and down the hills -- yeah!

2009-03-28T09:54:00.011+01:00

I told you I would not be kept from the best woods for long! Last week the STAFF got themselves some running shoes (from my cash!), and a new lead for me which allows me 5 glorious meters of freedom, and now, morning and evening we run. Mornings in the best woods and evenings around our home territory. I say run, but really it is just the STAFF huffing and puffing and me at a slow trot. As you can see, I don't get tired at all! Certainly I would not be falling asleep sitting upright on the sofa. No, not this Weimy.

Where was I? Oh, yes, so, to get my paw good and strong and stop it from getting sprained again, the v.e.t. - cat from hell she is - suggested taking me on two super dull walks around the block a day. No more than 5 minutes, she hissed, for the next 109 years! Always on the lead! Well, I can tell you that gave me a lot of spare energy which I got rid off by charging up and down and up and down the stairs, skating on the wooden floors, charge-jumping the sofa... etc... you name it, I did it. It didn't take that long for the STAFF to get the message and that's when THEY got themselves running shoes and off we went. On the lead, but still. Not too shabby this new rehab programme for my paw. Not too shabby at all!

Sometimes the STAFF are good to me. And bless THEM, THEY look tired all the time now - from just a little bit of running, I ask you! - and sometimes just fall asleep on the sofa. I suppose THEY are just not as fit as I am...

PS: On reflection, having spent most of the day sunbathing, and, er, snoozing in a dozing fashion for, er, a short while, I might have to admit that I am perhaps a leeeetle bit tired myself. And I don't mind resting my paws for a few more hours.

After all, wherever I lay my head, that's my home ¹.

¹ Conditional upon basic needs² having been met.

² Basics needs include, but are not limited to: a run in the woods, cuddles, food, something soft to lie on, a warm spot by direct heat source (sun or radiator), STAFF available upon request.

Help! I am under house (ar)rest!

2009-03-21T14:16:00.007+01:00

The traitor STAFF dragged me to the v.e.t.s -- can a guy not limp in peace for a few days? Huh? Anyway, the v.e.t. - demon of the dark abyss she is - told the STAFF not to take me out for about 4 weeks or so. 4 weeks! Do you know how long that is in dog years? 109 years! Possibly more.

I am already plotting a dastardly plan of how to shorten this rest time. 109 years for a bit of a sprained paw? Pah!

In 3 easy steps I'll be back to the best woods. Step 1. Look depressed. Step 2. Add some heavy sighing. Step 3. Throw up. Step 3, incidentally, should be quite easy right now. On of the last trips to the best wood I found a very aromatic mole - couldn't have been dead for that long. So, I dug it up and ate it, natch! Little bugger didn't want to stay down though. The STAFF took a photo when it came back out, but they won't let me post it here. Squeamish like a kitten, I say! Anyway, the old tummy is still a bit iffy after that.

It'll have to wait until the sun's gone down to start on Step 1. I cannot quite manage a miserable expression when I am this hot and, frankly, happy.

Don't worry, I'll get there. And I will keep you posted!

you know it's spring...

2009-03-02T12:15:00.005+01:00

you know it's spring....... when the sun is at an ideal angle to hit the comfiest sofa all morning. AND you can get your head on the forbidden cushions without the STAFF noticing....Success!

it's still cold outside!

2009-02-07T10:51:00.009+01:00

The STAFF made a big fuss about covering pipes etc. last night because it was meant to be really, really cold. I was a bit anxious about that and was quite pleased when THEY issued me with an extra blanket. Not that I have ever been cold in my super luxury bed by the radiator. No need to tell THEM that, eh!

I couldn't quite decide how cold it was outside when I woke up in the morning. What with being wrapped up in extra blankets and stuff. I knew it was the weekend, because the STAFF and I enjoy a coffee and a cuddle on the bed before we go out.

Anway, I needed to know just how cold it was, so I checked: ice and snow as far as I could see! I immediately alerted the STAFF to these ghastly conditions and made it very clear that I did not want to go out. Well, I thought I had made it very clear... but, as you can see, I found myself shortly afterwards in the "Best Wood When It Is Warm" - Woods.

I tried some iced stick, but it was not really my kinda thing.
I was bouncing to keep warm. But that generated a lot of cold air with the ear-flapping.
I even posed for pictures all smily and happy, so that the STAFF would move on. Come on! Move and keep warm...! Normally, you see, I pose and when THEY are ready to take the shot I move. It is hilarious. THEY have hundreds of shots of Ottie's bottie.
Anyway, maybe I am just in a bed/ bad mood today. I have a dicky tummy, that's what it is... I am sure I will be better tomorrow.

snow... sofa... shrimps...smile

2009-02-05T13:16:00.009+01:00

So, the STAFF dragged me out in the blizzard this morning. You can't see my face in this picture, but just imagine that I do not look happy! Things might be different when my new hurtta winter coat arrives. Ironically it is probably delayed in this weather.

I got soooo cold. Doing a full roll in the snow when chasing the ringzinger did p-robably not help.

Thankfully I could communicate to the STAFF that I was verrry cold and THEY wrapped me up nice and tight in my favourite cat blanket. It's only right they did. I remember full well who dragged me out into the inclement weather!

Finally thawed-out and not sure whether things could get any better, the STAFF surprised me with the issue of my favourite ever snacks - Shrimps!

These, of course, were a present from Amber and Chez at k9active.

What a wonderful surprise that was! And they even sent a very nicely shrimp-scented card with it, telling me to get well from my ringzinger injury. The STAFF could learn a lot about treating an injured/ recuperating guy from Chez and Amber!

Even though it was all addressed to me, the MEANIE STAFF have been rationing the snacks. I have kept a close nose on THEM though and I don't think THEY snuck any for THEMSELVES. THEY would be in a lot of trouble if THEY did.

Yummy, yummy, yummy in the Schnuffie's tummy!

Pity you cannot smell these. They are soooooooo good. But all mine.

I'll doze now. Dreaming of shrimps. You cannot see my face now, but just imagine me smiling!

stress testing the hurtta pro

2009-02-01T12:01:00.004+01:00

So, we tested out my new hurtta pro raincoat today (see previous post). It wasn't raining (phew!), but we needed to check how it'd fit in the field, when I am running and chasing and jumping and, erm, weeing and .... you get the picture. And it was colder than a vet's thermometer out there, so having a windproof, yet breathable and athletic coat was not to be sniffed at! Incidentally, if you don't know how cold a vet's thermometer is, count yourself lucky! I could happily do without that particular bit of expertise.
Anyway, the STAFF coated me up, and off we went. What better way to stress test the coat than with a game of chase'n'kill with my ring zinger? Oddly enough, the unsporty member of STAFF is better with the ring zinger than the sporty one. It's really funny! Where was I? Oh, yes. Testing the coat under ring zinger conditions. And the result? See for yourself!

I'd say. bring on the next adventure holiday!

So, I am back home now and just as well! It has started snowing. I am watching the spectacle from my nicely warm corner on the leather sofa. It is very soothing. Good rest! But perhaps I should get the STAFF to get me the nice warm winter coat from k9active.co.uk to complete my wardrobe. I'll work on it!

hey, good-looking!

2009-01-31T10:27:00.003+01:00

So, the STAFF went a detour on our way to the best woods this morning. Not popular! But, then I realised that we were picking up my super duper new rain coat from the hurtta pro range (only the best for me, natch!). The first one was too small, because of the STAFFs' incompetence with a measuring tape. Of course, THEY will claim that I held in my tummy. Well, of course I did! I was concerned that this was to do with future food alloaction, and therefore made myself seem as slim as poss.
Anyway, the nice people at k9active sorted it all out and sent a bigger coat. As you can see, it fits perfectly. I take a size 55 to fit all my muscles! And it is so light and soft and the collar makes me look like a supehero-caped-crusader and it is almost enough to make me wish for a little bit of rain. Just so that I can show it off outside.

Until then, I shall enjoy the sunshine on the sofa. I am quite tired after all that running round, chasing the ringzinger and trying on stuff.

ring zinger fun

2009-01-11T10:23:00.005+01:00

I have a really rather fantastic new toy! It's called a Ring Zinger (don't ask, I didn't come up with that name) and the STAFF bought it from a superb new shop for all the canine adventurer's needs www.k9active.co.uk. THEY bought some other stuff, too, but I cannot show you yet. My new rain coat is too small. I blame the measuring. Sure, I held in my tummy when the STAFF approached with the measuring tape, but which guy wouldn't?
Anyway, the great thing about my new toy is that even coordination-challenged unsporty bipeds (like, say, the STAFF) can produce a pretty good throw.

Just watch me goooooooooooooooooo!

After the last few dark months, with lots of couch potato shots, here at last is some proof that I am as sprightly as ever...

But now I must sleep. All this chasing is quite tiring...

my new time-share is super!

2009-01-10T12:10:00.004+01:00

So, the STAFF moved some of the bedrooms around. Whilst taking great care not to move MY bed. Sometimes THEY are surprisingly thoughtful and considerate! Now we all sleep in the same room. I have my splendid bed with orthopedic mattress, snuggle fleece and cozy blanket by the radiator. And THEY have their flatpack number from some Swedish furniture store. After all, I am more important and therefore should have better things.
This has not stopped me, however, from widening my portfolio and acquiring a timeshare for the big, Swedish bed. During the day it is in prime position for sunshine. Excellent!
And even without sunshine, this is a place where a guy can kick back and relax from the hussle and bussle of the day and rest (without chilling!).

All in all, an excellent investment! And I have the best of both beds - my super supportive comfy one at night, and the big relax pad in the sunshine during the day. Secretly, I also like that it smells of them. I do miss the great big silly lumps during the day (sometimes), and I have their smell around me here. Sure, THEY are probably only next doors in the study or downstairs listening to noise. But I don't miss them that much that I'd want to leave all my snuggly warmth behind just to go look for them....

Oooh, I also have a brand new toy. For chasing. I'll show you pictures soon. It's f-a-n-t-a-s-t-i-c!

PS: So far, I have not had to come out of retirement. Would you believe it!

enjoying retirement

2008-12-31T10:02:00.004+01:00

as you know I have worked very hard looking after two well-meaning, but often useless, members of STAFF. And, frankly, I had enough! All the hard work, the stress of looking after them, making sure they were safe. Checking on all visitors. A never-ending list of tasks and duties. When was a guy ever given the chance to relax?

So, I said to myself: enough is enough. But how could I communicate this idea to the STAFF? (It's not easy getting stuff through to them...). Well, I lucked out when I saw that this nice chap, who has his own tv show about rehabilitating useless dog staff 'the Dog Whisperer", has also written a book. Quick as a flash I was on amazon.co.uk and ordered the STAFF a copy for xmas. They took it very well, and read it aloud to one another. I was nodding along in the background. The man, Cesar Milan, makes so much sense. He knows all about how to turn useless STAFF into good STAFF.

And now the STAFF have finally taken on board that they are meant to look after me and not the other way around! Now, I have retired from pack leadership and STAFF management. My BP has dropped, my stress levels are sinking. I am relaxed. I am happy. I am carefree. I am having the time of my life!

We are all one big, happy, calm family now. Having lots of fun!

the game of kings

2008-12-24T15:20:00.006+01:00

I am contemplating my next move. The STAFFs' puny intellects are no match for me. But even if THEY should stumble on a good move and my brains won't win it on this one occasion, well, guess who's top in the brawns department? (Hint: starts with o, ends in o, has two ts in the middle).

Everything is a game of chess. Getting the best sofa. The warmest bed. The best food. The most attention. The STAFF try all sorts of strategies, but in the end, it is always check mate.

Now, back to my game of chess. I like the new chess figures. The wood smells very yummy, and could do with some 'personalizing'. You cannot beat that sort of thoughtful gift for Christmas, can you now.

Weimaraner 0 : Nasty Shrub 1

2008-12-08T22:40:00.005+01:00

ouchy ouchy ouchy... This morning the STAFF forced me to run through the woods (formerly, but not any more, known as best wood) in the pitch black dark. Again. I don't know what gave them the idea I would enjoy that!?

Anyways, I was just progressing at a comfortable trot (3rd gear and accelerating) when a shrub, with nasty sharp branches at chest height, appeared out of nowhere and attacked me! One minute, nice woody open space, next minute big spiky sticks scraping my chest. Now, you'll remember that my chest is no longer protected by a nice layer of fat, so the skin was scraped right off. Ouch!

I am convalescing at home now. I have made it very clear to the STAFF that it is all their fault. They are, therefore, and quite rightly, trying to make it up to me. Extra blankets and a big dinner. Here you can see the big wound on my chest. Incidentally, I am lying on a member of STAFF. It made me feel a lot better!

I hope I'll be all better for my morning hunt. This time I think I will take the long way around the obstacles.

Routine is the spice of life!

2008-12-07T15:59:00.003+01:00

The STAFF have finally learned! Who'd have thought it would ever happen? Not me! But, bless THEM, their training has really come along in the last few weeks!

My days, Monday to Sunday are now a verrry nice routine:

well before sunrise: Up and to the Best wood (before any dogs get there, I want it all to myself). We like to get there when it is still dark and the scents are fresh! If the STAFF are sluggish in the morning, I get out the big guns! I have really nailed the frequency of my yelping now, and can get the STAFF from bed to bottom of the stairs in 3 yelps = 30 seconds flat. Not bad, eh!

And off we go.

8am: Home and a nice hearty breakfast.

8:30am: Up on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket and aaaaahhh, relax! In summer: sun bathing. The STAFF go out some days, not others. I don't really keep track of this, because I don't need THEM for this part of the day. As long as THEY don't bother me, crowd me on the sofa or cramp my style, I like to give THEM a bit of freedom. Personally, I think THEY should nap. Might make them look less tired in the morning.

5:45pm (sharp!) Quick stroll around the block. Just to check the news, (we)e-mail and all. AND to see whether the nice Greyhound lady might be out on her evening round. Hellloooo baby!

Then, an impossibly long and cruel wait until the STAFF have finished feasting on their dinner before I can have mine. Meanies!

The highlight of my evening (apart from dinner!) is the training I do with the STAFF. So far I have taught them well over 20 different ways of understanding: Give me a biscuit now! THEY are quite fast learners. I might show you some footage of the exercises later.

After all that work, I am quite tired and like to nap until bed time, when it is time for my quick patrol round the yard and then a biscuit treasure hunt. Then quick back to bed, after all, my day starts early.

I really don't know why it took them so long to understand my very simple needs!

aaaaahhh....I'm wasting away!

2008-10-29T19:50:00.001+01:00

The STAFF dragged me to the vets today. I could say a lot about that, but I have bigger fish to fry!I hopped on the scales today and I am a vanishingly small 34.8kg. When I arrived with the STAFF 4 years ago I was a strapping lad weighing 47.5kg. Perhaps a leeeetle on the heavy side. It was quite hard to walk up hills, or down hills, and jump, or run etc. and I did look like a fat labrador, but, hey, that's all besides the point because I was warm! I am not sure what THEY are playing at, but I was pleased to hear the vet say that I looked muscly and healthy and should not lose any more weight. Perhaps I should have asked to get that very important point in writing?

And, to be frank, and you know I am, there's something that really bug me:

Everything is at least 1 hour late! It started on Sunday. We were an hour late for the morning walk, and an hour late for the evening walk. And it has continued like that ever since. I asked the STAFF about this. Repeatedly. THEY say it is some kind of Daylight Saving Time. I think that's just an excuse. But whatever it is, it really winds me up! I like knowing what is going to happen when. I'll continue to remind them that I want to go out when it feels like the right time, no matter what the clocks say.

Why do I even stay with them, you might, quite rightly, ask? Well, in THEIR madness there appears to be some good stuff. On very rare occasions. And this is one of them. The STAFF put me through some really shocking training when we were in the Bavarian mountains over the summer. There was BIG, LOUD thunderstorms every afternoon, lasting most of the night. We were in a tent, which is clearly not safe in a thunderstorm, so I insisted that everyone sleeps in the car during the storm. I, for one, was very comfortable. But one night, the storm started after we had gone to bed in the tent. I tried to wake the STAFF, so that we could urgently evacuate to the car, but they were out like logs! Nothing I did woke them up. In the end, I fell asleep, curled up against them. And we all slept through the storm, thundering and lightning right over our heads. Shocking stuff. But somehow it really helps me with all the fireworks now. What's a bit of noise like that after you have braved the eye of the storm?

In a nutshell, my advice to you: don't leave the STAFF in charge of how much food you'll get, or you could find yourself all muscly and toned like me. And who would want that? Don't change the clocks unless you enjoy the sound of whining for an hour in the morning and the evening. Sleep in the eye of the storm, get a dap diffuser (smells like mummy), and relax during fireworks.

And, lastly, don't tangle up your legs like this if you want to be ready to "greet" the postie. I don't want to go into details, but it could be embarrassing...

Brrrr.... it's cold outside!

2008-10-24T20:35:00.002+02:00

It is cold outside, but I do love these cold evenings. The STAFF and I snuggle up on the sofa. Well, one of the STAFF gets to snuggle, the OTHER has to sit on the small sofa, in the window, where it's draughty. All on their own. Life can be tough, I suppose.

Me, I am verrry cozy. And a little sleepy. Tomorrow, I'll be ready for adventure!

I HATE baths

2008-10-05T11:43:00.001+02:00

I am not having a good day! First of all, it was raining. A lot. I do not like rain.

I did find something very nice in the woods to roll in, which gave me a fantastic aroma. But the STAFF, overcome by jealousy, washed it off. Really! THEY gave me a b.a.t.h. in the rain! How cruel can you get?

You probably cannot tell from my sunny expression, but I am not happy.

What I am looking forward to is the moment when the STAFF realise that the smell has not actually washed off at all. Hah! Their puny efforts were in vain. And I shall be having the last laugh!

aaaaah..autumn is here!

2008-10-04T14:22:00.001+02:00

I love autumn. Don't you? It's still nice and dark in the morning when we get up now. I love it! I am sure the STAFF do, too, but I wish THEY would make more of an effort to look chirpy. I mean, what's not to like? We are like creatures of the night. And when we get to the woods the hunting is fantastic! There's foxes. Rabbits. And when the sun comes up the squirrels come out. Perfect!

Yesterday, I had a great find. Fearless hunter that I am, I was crashing through the undergrowth, sniffing here and there, when the scent hit me. It was just as well, the scent hit me before I stood on it, because it was a hedgehog I found. Yum! Trouble is, the stupid thing rolled up into a spiky little ball and I did not really fancy getting my chompers into that. But I knew what to do. Same as I do at home when I want something and the STAFF are a bit slow. So, I did a verrrry tidy sit. Works every time: do a tidy sit, look adorable and, hey presto, you get stuff. After a while I realised that this hedgehog had not received the memo on what to do when I do a tidy sit. Outrageously, it stayed curled up. Now, you'll agree that's not right!

I was not sure what do to next, so I was quite glad when the STAFF appeared on the scene. Glad that is, until THEY dragged me away from my prey. Now, why would you do that? I thought THEY were going to help me with that stubborn spiky fool!

Anyway, I didn't have much time to be outraged, because I got the scent of something else and I did not have time to tell the STAFF my frank opinion of their behaviour. I had to be off at high speed.

I can see why the wildlife is scared of me, can't you? The STAFF took this picture of me today and I must say, in the dark I am p-retty scary. Excellent! Cower wildlife!

I think I look like the Hound of the Baskervilles. Only better! And much more scary!

The STAFF were waddling at an even slower speed than usual today. I swear frozen treacle could flow uphill faster than those two. As, I said, THEY were even slower today, because THEY faffed with the camera and took some little films of my activities. Of course THEY couldn't get me on film whilst hunting. A) the great lumbering fools are too slow, B) I am too fast, and C) it's too dark. But, THEY did get a bit of footage. It's not very good, but I post it here out of pity. THEY do try very hard, bless them. And you never know, THEY might get better at this and do me more justice with their next attempt. You have to stay optimistic. Especially if you have STAFF like I do.

Tomorrow, I'll get THEM out of bed earlier again. Why would you want to stay in bed past 6am on such glorious days?

Setting the record straight!

2008-09-20T09:47:00.001+02:00

Look, I'll show you my nicely fixed tooth. See the canine, looking strangely flat? That's the one I had fixed. Now it has a nice filling and rubber reinforcing. Painfree and all ready for action! I'm quite glad that I had that operation.

Anyway, I spent all day yesterday relaxing and getting rid off that anaesthesia hangover. I tried all my favourite places in the sun, on the rugs, the sofa, my bean bed, curled in a ball, stretched out on my side, rolled on my back. You name it, I relaxed in it.

And now it is time to let the STAFF know a few things. THEY had been insinuating for some time that I was getting old and had slowed down. Now, I know that THEY are not blessed with the greatest of intellects, but surely even THEY should be able to work out that a guy whose got a constant toothache is just not up to running around, hunting, barking, snuggling on the sofa, etc.

THEY had been kidding themselves that I was all super duper obedience Weimaraner now. Pah! THEY'll soon see... I am back! I am ready for action! I am full of energy!

You should have seen THEIR worried little faces this morning when I insisted, quite forcefully, that we get up early and for my walk and I made them go an extra long round.

THEY said I was getting old? Hah! Let's see whether THEY'll be able to keep up with me!

I'll keep you posted.

Root canal treatment: Success!

2008-09-19T09:10:00.001+02:00

I am just glad it's all behind me now. It started with a discoloured canine, which the STAFF spotted when we got back from holiday in August. The vets here gave me a general anaesthetic, took some x-rays, but didn't see anything wrong with it.

But, they did send the x-ray to a specialist veterinary dentist, and he said it was non-vital pulp damage and that my tooth would die slowly and it would have to come out or I'd need root canal treatment.

Not good!

We went yesterday to have it done. But we had to drive all the way to Surrey to get to see Norman Johnstone of dentalVets. I hate saying it, but he's a really nice guy! Apparently, our normal vets have me down as a problem case, but Norman was such an easy going chap, I let him look at my teeth and all, no growling. Now, there was someone with a good barnside manner! I wasn't pleased when he explained the procedure in detail to the STAFF, but I focussed on the bit where he said I'd be much better after having it done.

The STAFF callously left me there and went somewhere. Probably without a care in the world. I have already marked them down for punishment for that offense. Don't worry. Where was I? Oh, yes. THEY left me, and then I had to wait ages, because a big bull mastiff was having his op first. Apparently it was a case of poking him with tranquilizers from a distance, do the surgery as quick as possible and then get rid of him before he comes around again. And our vets think that I am a problem case? Maybe I should make introductions between them and Bully Mastiff?

Once I went under it was all a bit of a blur. I hear that 4mm thin wires drilled out the pulp and special American slow drills were needed to get around an obstruction. But I was not listening to all that. Made me feel queasy...

The upshot is, my canine is shorter, with a nice solid filling, some rubber filling in the pulp canal and much less pain.

Now, if you excuse me, I didn't get much food yesterday, so I have a busy day of eating ahead of me!

Oh, and the vet has some nice pictures of my tooth, which he will send to the STAFF. I'll post them here once I have them.

But this pup has no dodgy pulp any more and is ready to rumble!

After a few hours of rest...

Happy birthday, little Schnuffie!

2008-09-03T15:30:00.001+02:00

Blimey, I am 9 years old today. I wonder whether I have to start acting mature? I hope not. I still feel like a puppy. Not that I am as annoying as a puppy, of course. I am sure I can use this age thing to my advantage though. The STAFF are always quite gullible. You know, look a little shivery and the fire goes on. Look a bit more shivery and blankets get draped around you lovingly. These sorts of things are quite handy. I shall dedicate some time over the next few weeks to investigate these possibilities.

In the meantime, I cannot hide my disappointment at the gifts the STAFF got me. It's not at all what I wanted (a remote control for the central heating, my own account at the organic butcher's, the Walchensee, to name just a few things on my list), but I suppose THEY have made some sort of effort. The chicken will be yummy, and the squeaky toy won't annoy with its squeakiness for long. And now, we must be off hunting. It's a nice crisp day and there are some squirrels I'd like to give a little birthday surprise to, so to speak.

Surfing in Comfort and Style to Freedom

2008-08-24T12:03:00.002+02:00

My tooth is not that sore anymore. It might have something to do with the daily, incidentally very yummy, tablet of Rymadil, a chewy snack, liver flavoured, which takes all the pain away. And did I mention that they are very yummy?

This means that I can enjoy my spare time again. Lying in the sun. Lying on the sofa. Browsing the internet. And, on really good days, a happy combination of all three at once. Marvellous!

I am looking for a nice holiday break to book: for one only! I am looking to leave on the day that the STAFF booked me to go to dentavets for root canal treatment. I really don't want to be there when that happens. I've got my passport and the credit card, and as long as the STAFF don't notice what I am up to, I'll be swimming in the Walchensee in Bavaria before long and the dentavets can do all the drilling without me.

This Pup has Pulp Damage

2008-08-15T18:51:00.001+02:00

Oh dear, the vets just rang the STAFF (and the fools picked up! Why do we have caller ID, I ask you?). Apparently the vet sent my x-rays to a specialist who worked out that not all is well with my canine: I have pulp damage. There's two options: take the tooth out, or have a root canal filling and keep the tooth. I made it very clear to the STAFF that I would rather keep the tooth; which does not mean that I want anything done to any of the roots or canals anywhere.

But you have to be pragmatic about these things and so we will be off to the specialist veterinary dentist soon.

What a saga!

whoa - that stuff really does knock you out

2008-08-13T16:58:00.001+02:00

Just got back from the vets. Had my general anaesthetic this morning and the vets looked over my teeth. Took some nice x-rays and all. Thankfully, that big canine looked fine and I did not have to have it out. Phew! I am really rather attached to it.

The STAFF were hopeless as always in medical situations; their stress hormones and pheromones alone are enough to make me feel queasy.

I still don't seem to have any control over my legs and they keep on flopping and moving in funny directions. I'm sure that'll wear off. On the plus side it'll be yummy painkillers for the next few days, AND the STAFF look so guilty and concerned that they'll do anything I'll ask. I'll be sure to make good use of that for as long as it lasts.

Now I have to rest (and demand more food).

My tooth hurts. Do something!

2008-08-11T17:48:00.001+02:00

For there was never yet a philosopher

That could endure the toothache patiently.

~~~~~~

Very wise words from Shakespeare. I think from Much ado about nothing. In any case, I digress. When we got back from holiday I took the opportunity, during our morning cuddle, to show the STAFF one of my beautifully sharp canines, which had gone a somewhat grey colour. The STAFF dragged me off to the vets, which is not what I wanted. I had thought more of a little bit of clove oil, or some other ancient remedy.

In any case, I'll have to go back in on Wednesday morning, have a general anaesthetic, x-ray and maybe even my tooth out! BUT, it is a little bit sore, and most importantly, it slows me down eating.

I'm sure it'll be ok, but I'm a little bit nervous. Wish me luck!

Perhaps I'll stop picking up stones and stuff when we're at the beach. Perhaps.

The Trek Tagebuch: Otto in Germany

2008-08-08T18:23:00.001+02:00

So, I have slept pretty much solidly since we got back from our travels. And I feel suitably refreshed now to share with you some of my adventures.

When the STAFF packed the car for a holiday, I was still quite looking forward to it all. I was getting slightly worried when they put a big bathtub on top of the car... How much stuff were THEY going to take? And then THEY packed two large backs of my special yummy astronaut food. And then THEY got out our passports, including my sparkly new one, and I was really worried.

After a few rainy hours on the motorway, which I frankly slept through (I assume the STAFF did, too. Well at least one of them.), we arrived at some sort of monstrous station, went through some control points and into the smelly belly of a rather large train. I wasn't sure what to make of it at first, but the STAFF assured me that it was all ok, and I only found out later that we went under all the water between the UK and the rest of Europe in a hole someone made with some sort of drill. Is that safe, I ask you?

Well, that rumply, smelly trip lasted only about 30 minutes and then we were back on the motorway, driving through France, then Belgium, stayed in a hotel, drove through Holland and then (a mere 32 hours after we set off) we arrived in the Lueneburger Heide in the north of Germany, visiting family. All very nice. There was even a quite cute little girl dog there for me to make introductions with. You'll agree that she is very good looking!
But the joy did not last long. We had regrettable misunderstanding, when she assumed that I was feasting on her food when I was in fact only drinking some water from my own bowl, and she bit me! Not badly, but you know, I got a bit of a fright. Thankfully the STAFF sorted things out with their family and I got to spend the rest of our stay there in peace.
Then we went to see Oma, who lives very close to the beach! I love the beach! I love sand! I love water! I love Oma! I had a great time. But before long we moved on again.

Another 9 hours and we had crossed Germany from North to South and were in the Black Forest, or Schwarzwald, as the locals call it. A massive area that is pretty much just trees, hills and water is as good a holiday location as you can choose, I'd say. I even had my own private little river, which I could cool my paws in after a long day of activity. And also first thing in the morning. And any time of day really. Selfishly the STAFF and Oma took me on some excursions which seemed to me to be mainly for their enjoyment. Not mine. Would you believe that?
I was compensated with some very nice walks though. Including one on our last day in the Schwarzwald. We took a cable car all the way to the top of the Feldberg, which at just under 1500m is the highest in the Schwarzwald. And once on top we lollopped through the meadows looking for snacks and butterflies. Well, the STAFF seemed to be admiring the view. But I lollopped and enjoyed the fresh air.
I was beginning to suspect that things were going a bit too well. After all, this whole trip had been arranged and planned by the STAFF, and I don't need to tell you that this normally means that something will go wrong. And so it was...

We got back to the car, and I spotted it first, one of the tyres: flat as a pancake. Uhoh, I thought. Not good! Best not mention it to the STAFF. Of course, they spotted it anyway. But, not too much of a problem you'd have thought. They have breakdown insurance. They have mobile telephones. It is just a matter of waiting a little while, some kind of breakdown car will come half-way up the Feldberg, fix the mess and we can get back to my private river. That's what you and I would think and do.

The STAFF, however, with their very own brand of wisdom and logic at work, had left all

documents and means of communication in the holiday appartment, miles away. The Idiots!

4 hours it took to get it all sorted. 4 hours of waiting. of doing nothing!

And all of that just because I am lumbered with STAFF who are frankly not the most useful and practical people I've come across. It is not easy at times to be supportive of them. But I do try.

The next day we dropped off Oma at the airport. I was very upset, because I love Oma and I really did not want her to leave. But the STAFF dropped her off, ignoring my protests and drove on and on and on until we reached Bavaria, which is technically a part of Germany, even though it is very different to the north where Oma lives.

When we arrived in Bavaria I was very excited, because I got to hook up with my dear friend Gerlinde! Graciously we allowed the STAFF to tag along, even though I was not in a good mood with them after the flat tyre and leaving Oma incidents.

But then Gerlinde led us to a place of pure magic. A lake in the Bavarian mountains which was so beautiful, and clear and, frankly, cold, that it was like a dream. I won't tell you the name of the lake. I don't want you to go. I want it all to myself.

As you may know, the STAFF have been insinuating for some time that I may not be able to swim properly. What an outrageous remark! Just because I have chosen not to, does not mean that I am not able to. I was reluctant to let the STAFF know of my abilities, lest it puts more crazy ideas in their heads. BUT, when I saw one of the STAFF go for MY stick, I could not contain myself and I pushed into the depth and paddled with a great splash, at high sleek speed, until I had the stick and my pride was recovered.
I found the experience of swimming in this coldest and deepest lake in Germany so enjoyable that I wanted to come back every day and do it again. Thankfully, Gerlinde communicated this to the STAFF and we came at least once every day. I could have done without the 9km up and down mountains on bendy roads to get there, but needs must, I guess. My favourite photo shows me and my friend cooling our feet in the water, with the sun shining on our backs. Now, the STAFF may want to tell you that I learned to swim in this lake, but you and I know that's not true.
In this picture you get a good view of the Herzogstand. The big mountain just beyond my bottom. And that's where we took the STAFF on one of the days. The trouble is that the Herzogstand is quite high, and the best way to get up there is in a cable car. But this cable car travels at an incline (or decline!) of 88% at nearly 20mph (or 30km/h)! I was nearly sick on the way up. Not from the journey, but the smell of fear in the cabin was almost too much to take.

When we got up there, the view was amazing.
I spotted my favourite lake, no more than 1000m down, and I was getting ready to go there (I spotted a shortcut which was not even entirely vertical) but the STAFF held me back. THEY just have no sense of fun or adventure, nor do they understand the urgency of the need to get to the water.
The time in this little paradise was far too brief and before long we were back on our 36hour journey home. All very dull.

But, we did spot something in Bavaria which looked slightly less than safe: just a little sign by the side of the road, saying that there are low flying planes and to pay attention to the traffic lights. I got the feeling the STAFF were not taking the whole thing seriously, but stopped anyway at the red traffic light. Good job.

They were certainly not kidding when they warned us of low-flying planes crossing the road!

So, now I am safely back home. And I still have Bestwood and all. But I can tell you that I really miss my lake and I miss Oma and Gerlinde and the sense of adventure every day. I hope the STAFF and I will go on holiday again quite soon!

Take me Home, country roads!

2008-08-02T21:38:00.001+02:00

You may wonder why I have not been posting anything for a while. Well, it has a simple and shocking reason. The STAFF abducted me and took me on a tour around Germany, my spiritual home. I was gone 3 1/2 weeks, and I did so much. There are tales of cable cars and mountains and lakes and learning to swim and, phew, even thinking about it is too much.

View Larger Map

You can see the locations I visited - and that does NOT even include the many, many, many day trips, but just places we stayed. You'll understand that I cannot go into details now. I'll have to sleep first for, ooh, 2 weeks, then I'll put their car up on ebay for £1 "buy it now" to avoid any possibility of the STAFF abducting me again, and then I'll tell you all about our crazy road trip.

But for now, Gute Nacht!

Life's a beach!

2008-06-02T00:15:00.001+02:00

The STAFF and I took a well-earned short break over the Bank Holiday weekend. THEY said they would take me to some sandy beach paradise, and I was a little surprised when I saw us head in the Newcastle direction. But, I thought to myself, let's wait and see, it might be ok after all!

After only 3 1/2 hours in the car we were there. It used to take us 4 1/2 hours, because the STAFF like getting lost. Thankfully, they listened to my advice and bought a satnav system. I mean, I am NOT going to drive thousands of kilometers through Germany and Austria with them when THEY cannot even find the way from here to there or anywhere. Pfff - not me!

Anyway, the beach trip was really rather a lot of fun! I cannot deny it! We went 3 times in 2 days. Not too shabby a rate at all!

It was really early in the morning and the STAFF and I went to Tynemouth Longsands, and it was well nice. Lots of sand. And quite a bit of water. And, as always, the possibility that a snack or Eau de Merde might have washed up on the shore.

I left some footprints in the sand to scare the more gullible beachwalkers. Looks like a big bear, don't you think?

The most dangerous episode was, of course, related to the STAFF and their total lack of health and safety awareness. Here you can see one of them rushing towards the water, and almost getting soaked! THEY can be grateful they have me! I held on to my toy with all my might and slowed them down before we got our tootsies wet! Honestly, can you believe how silly THEY are? I would never go and swim in this. And I know that I can swim! I am not so sure about the STAFF. I have never seen them swim, and I am not so confident THEY could. With the whole ungainly stumbling about on two legs, no proper traction control, no acceleration uphill, etc. Makes you worry what they'd do when they hit deep water, doesn't it. Whatever would they do without me?

In the afternoon we went to the lighthouse on St Mary's island. That was quite good fun. I got to scramble a lot on rocks above the crashing waves. The STAFF were shouting all excitedly whenever I approached the edge of the rocky island, so I assume THEY were having fun, too!

Well, anyways, that was last weekend. And I have to say that beaches are quite good fun. But, honestly, there is just no place like home, where the Best Wood is just on the doorstep!

Water - glorious water (and mud!)

2008-05-11T22:31:00.002+02:00

I told you there'd be more excitement today! We went to one of my favouritest places (apart from the Best Wood). Clumber National Park, which has - wait for it - a Lake! Just for me. I can paddle in it. I can drink it. I can piddle it back out again. It's like a magic Circle of Wonderful.

We got there early, of course, but the sun was nice and warm. Not too warm. There was noone aound - just the STAFF and I and a whole big lake to play in. Perfect!

I couldn't wait to get into the water. In fact, I didn't wait, and went right in. The STAFF, as always, were reluctant to get their feet wet. But I shared some of the water I accumulated in my coat with them by shaking vigorously. I think THEY really appreciated that.

And then we played Shticks in the water. My favourite!

There is nothing like the taste of slightly soggy wood straight from a lake. If you haven't tried it, well, frankly, you haven't lived!

Now, just look at these little cute feathery balls of fluff.

Isn't it all a splendid sight?

It was such a great trip out! And even though I tried to run through a wire fence and got stopped very rudely and abruptly in my tracks, it was just perfect. In fact, the whole weekend was just great! I was in such a good mood that I gave the STAFF the evening off and sent them to the cinema. I can be generous to a fault when the mood takes me.

But now, I must sleep. All this activity has really tired me out. And I am not used to being in such a good mood, so that takes a bit of getting used to. I wonder whether it will last...?

A Weimy's work is never done!

2008-05-10T19:12:00.001+02:00

Pfffffff.... I am quite tired. Now I am not one for complaining (inexplicably the STAFF seem to be sniggering and frankly almost guffawing as I type this. I don't know why - it's just THEM being rude!). As I was saying: I am not one for complaining, but today was extremely busy!

It started like any good Saturday should: up at 6:30am (slightly late for my liking, but the STAFF are hard to get out of bed sometimes), and off to the Best Wood.

Here you can see me scampering about in the lush vegetation, just looking around.

And then of course I spotted the cheeky little camper. See for yourself! There it sat, bold as anything. You've got to admire that kind of courage!

If I am honest, I thought that this was quite a cute little squirrel. So, I acted as though I had not seen it, in order to stop the STAFF from getting overexcited. I didn't want THEM to scare the cheeky little fella.

The little scamp went up a tree anyway. Probably safest. After all, the STAFF are liable to point and bark all excitedly when THEY see squirrels.

After the nice walk, I had been hoping to get a bit of sleep. But no, the STAFF roped me into helping with the gardening. I don't think I should have to work at all. But THEY work me harder than you can imagine!

I did a nice job of the flower beds though, even if I say so myself. That was before the STAFF jealously shooed me away. Just because my efforts in gardening always outshine theirs, and THEY just cannot take the creative competition. Oh well. I got quite a bit of work done anyway.

And now I will sleep. It has been a busy day, and I am sure tomorrow will hold more excitement.

Foam density and Feather Filling under the Spotlight

2008-05-08T18:45:00.001+02:00

Continuing my pursuit of PhD sleep research at a relentless pace, with no consideration for my own comfort or well-being, I have today investigated the puzzling, most important and thus far unanswered question of the number of cushions needed to get really comfy.

After much study I can reveal the following, extremely newsworthy results: 2 for the bottom, one for the head and chest, with additional armrest support and blanket covering. Aaaahhh....

Today was a good day for science. And not too bad for the scientist either, if you see what I mean. Will I be able to replicate or even expand on this wonderful study? Probably not. You see, the STAFF, both firmly placed in the category of 'Total Ignoramus' have made off with my materials and dragged them into the washing machine. I don't even know when I will get my vital research tools back, and when I do, I bet you they'll be all smelly and gross.

But that's what science is all about. You cannot spare yourself any hardship in the relentless pursuit of knowledge. I'll think of other ways to expand my research. You'll see.

all in the name of science...

2008-05-04T14:18:00.001+02:00

Sleeping time, and the living is easy.

Squirrels are jumping in trees on high!

The STAFF are rich, and I am good looking.

So, why would this Weimy cry?

I am sure that's how the lullaby went. I was humming it to myself as I am pursuing my PhD in sleep research. Today's experiment: the STAFFs' sleeping positions on the sofa examined for relaxation, comfort, aesthetics and other factors. Of course, I look better in their pose than they do, but overall, my verdict is: Not bad! Not too bad at all!

Squirrels, squirrels...dropping out of trees!

2008-05-03T13:35:00.000+02:00

So, the world is good again. I was back in the Best Wood on Tuesday morning and very pleased to see that my paw held up. On the downside I got no more medication which spelled the end of my Emmenthal tasting sessions, but hey ho, I'll think of some other ways to get my paws on some delicacies.

The weather is quite nice again now. And I am sleeping very well. The STAFF and I sleep in separate rooms now, and it is very relaxing. I have a new bed, in addition to the sofa-bed, in my bachelor pad on the first floor and it is very comfy. So, all in all, life is good.

PS: Really, a squirrel did fall out of a tree. Poor thing. Couldn't quite make the jump... But before anyone could say "Gotcha" and get a protein-rich snack the little blighter had already up and left and was up the tree again. Had I not felt sorry for it, I could have had it all to myself. Silly me!

Shelter from the Storm

2008-04-28T03:56:00.000+02:00

So, a big old thunderstorm was blowing over our house this evening. The first in a long time. I should've known. The weekend didn't start well, and this was certainly a low point. You might be able to spot me in the depth of the shelter the STAFF hastily erected around my sofa. Sometimes THEY are little dears.

Anyway, as I said, this weekend has been p-retty bad. It didn't start off too badly. One of the STAFF had been quite poorly for a few months, but now has some kind of medication to take which makes them much better. I do note that the STAFF never take their medication hidden in chicken or cheese. What a foolishly missed opportunity for a snack! When I hear the pill boxes rattle, I go and check it out. I mean, I don't necessarily want the drugs, but there's nothing wrong at all with just a little bit of chicken or cheese or both. Why would you have them with water, when you have the magic capability to open the Fridge? Beats me.

Anyway. As I said, they are better now. Just as well, as nursing is not my strong suite and I find it pretty tiring. And dull. But! Because they are feeling all better and well and full of high jinx, we were all doing a bit of running through the woods. And noone warned me of the big pothole in the path! My backpaw went right into it. Landed on a stone, and OUCH! I could feel the sprain straight away. The STAFF still dragged me to the vets. On the plus side that means tasty medication. I'm having mine in Emmenthal, which has a delightfully nutty flavour. On the downside it means no trips out, for who knows how long. I am sooooo bored. And now the thunder and lightning. Pffff... I am going straight back to sleep and I hope when I wake up, it'll all look a bit brighter!

Smile!

2008-03-28T18:45:00.001+01:00

Today I smiled, and all at once things didn't look so bad.
Today I shared with someone else, a bit of hope I had.
Today I sang a little song, and felt my heart grow light,
And walked a happy little mile, with not a cloud in sight.
Today I worked with what I had and longed for nothing more,
And what had seemed like only weeds, were flowers at my door.
Today I loved a little more and complained a little less,
And in the giving of myself, I forgot my weariness.

Ah, I feel so fuzzy and good and warm and I just want to spread happiness...Wait! What's happening!? What am I thinking? What am I saying? That doesn't sound like me! I wonder whether the STAFF are putting something into my water?

Mountain Survival Holiday - Here I come!

2008-03-26T00:24:00.001+01:00

The STAFF are still busy planning our big European tour. For a while I was not too keen on the trip. Hours in the car. And then maybe not even a house but some small kind of canvas number without radiators, enough beds or any of the comforts I find so enjoyable. But, just the other day, I heard the STAFF mention that we will take at least one sofa, just for me. And my friend Gerlinde has very kindly offered to carry it over the mountains. At least I think that is what she meant. She must have done. What a darling! Well, I don't assume it is too heavy, but still, a very nice offer!

I can picture our ruffti-tuffti trip to the Alps now. I am sure this is exactly what it will be like!

I think I was born for mountain survival.

And, of course, if Gerlinde carries one of the sofas, the STAFF can manage another one each. With 3 sofas I should avoid any sore areas I might get from being forced to lie in the same position for too long.

Searching for Easter

2008-03-23T22:27:00.000+01:00

Couldn't wite in a while. Was just too tired! The STAFF had family over from Germany and it was very tiring looking after them. Particularly as I had to share my sofa and my bachelor pad. If I had known, I would have vetoed the visit. Mind you, they did bring me nice things, I suppose. And they fussed me all the time. And the little one played sticks and rugby with me. All the time.

Actually, that was pretty much the biggest problem; the visitors were sooo energetic. Particularly the young one. It was just round the clock go-go-go. Non-stop action. Bam!Bam!Bam! I got no sleep at all. One some bad days I got no more than, say 12 hours. How can anyone survive a deprivation schedule like that?

I am not used to that kind of stuff. Between you and me, the STAFF are essentially lazy. And, I have to admit, I like them that way. But, when the vistors were here, we were all action, action, action. Sticks, sticks, sticks.

Watch me here, bringing it down in mid-flight and killing it outright. Cower mere wooden things!

Anyway, it was all very, very, very tiring. I had to sleep for a week after they were gone. And when I woke up it was Easter. Great. I love Easter. People hide chocolate eggs for you. Well, they hide chocolate eggs. And if you find them, they are yours. I know the law. Once you have it in your chops, it's all yours. Anyway. It's Easter. And the STAFF are hanging around at home with me a lot. I tolerate that - if THEY behave well. So, we're sitting at home, THEY mention it's Easter, and I'm thinking to myself, "Let's go and find us a nice Easter squirrel. Nice and juicy, stuffed with crunchy nuts." And when we're done with that, let's get some choc eggs for dessert. Yummy, yummy, squirrel and chocolate in my tummy!

You can imagine my absolute horror and disappointment when I emerged from the car and found that it was snowing. And icy. And blowing a gale. For a horrible moment I thought that I had slept too long, all the way through the nice warm seasons and it was winter again! Aaaaahh. The STAFF assured me it was Easter.
But I knew straight away that there would be no squirrels. No chocolate. No nothing. Just frozen water. Hurled at you at great speed. I may have a jacket. But I was still chilly. And no yummy chocolate squirrel in my tummy.

Brrr. I shake in disgust. And to keep warm!
I think for the rest of this so called Easter I'll try and stay indoors. And help the STAFF plan our big tour of Germany, Austria and Holland. If I don't pay attention, I might not get all the comforts on the trip which I should have.

And, I still want compensation for having missed out on any kind of Easter snack. And for all the calories I burned to entertain the guests.

I'll check out the legal situation. Maybe I should get professional advice.

Rest before the Storm - The STAFF are acting suspiciously

2008-03-05T20:20:00.001+01:00

Blimey, it was colder than the Vet's thermometer this morning. I had to engage in all sorts of high jinxs just to keep warm. The foolish STAFF mistook my desperate attempts to ward of hypothermia for excitement on my part. Sometimes I despair with these fools!

Would YOU think that I'd jump fences just for the fun of it? Well, would you? Honestly...

I do have a feeling that I enjoyed myself immensely chasing sticks. But then again, it might have been a dream - it is all a bit of a blur to me now. Quite a pleasant thought, really, if I am honest. And you know me, I tend to be.

The real cause for concern is the STAFFs' recent flurry of activity. They make unbelievable and totally inconsiderate noise, associated with raised tempers and voices, loud crying, bumps, searching for the First Aid kit and so on and on. What do THEY call it? Is it DIY? Well, that, in combination with attacking me with the vacuum cleaning monster, scrubbing of floors, cleaning behind the cooker and, worst of all, washing my beds in some really stinky stuff (puh puh!), can only mean that we are expecting visitors to stay over.

I am doing the only sensible thing. Resting. And hoping that they are considerate visitors who won't want to share the sofa. There is hardly enough space for me in any case!

Of storms and sticks

2008-03-01T21:12:00.000+01:00

So, apparently there was an earthquake a couple of nights ago. I can't comment, I was asleep. A little bit of ground shaking and walls wobbling is not going to make me miss my well-earned rest! What I did notice was that last night there was a big storm blowing. I think its called Emma. Well, Emma kept on lifting up the roof tiles and then they would clatter back down again. Very inconsiderate. I was trying to sleep, you know!
On the plus side, big storms mean lots and lots of prime quality sticks, fresh of the tree. Great!

Just look at the size of this beauty!

The STAFF don't seem to appreciate the fresh sticks as much as I do. As a matter of fact, they seem positively jumpy when nice fresh sticks arrive off the tree and land right in front of you. I find it exciting! But I guess the STAFF are a little silly and not half as brave as I am!

So, I have been mentioning the Best Wood for a while now. And I mentioned to the STAFF that it would be really great to move there. Makes sense, right? And, having looked up from my sticks for a moment, I saw just the right kind of property. Right in the middle of the Best Wood. I think the STAFF should buy it. And then we can build a fence and keep dogs out. With the exception of a rather lovely Greyhound lady I met a little while ago, but I digress. I think the STAFF and I would be very happy here!
And I wouldn't have to travel in the car to the Best Wood any more. As you can see, I have hardly any space at all! And only a couple of blankets! But worst of all, the STAFF have a questionable taste in music which they insist on playing in the car. And worse still, sometimes they sing along. Ouch, it makes your ears hurt! But when I sing along, they tell me to be quiet. It's an outrage! Especially, as I am the one with the largest vocal range and volume. Tsk!

But anyway. The reason why I am so happy in the Best Wood? Well, when you run after that stick, chase that fox or bark at those squirrels, you experience a moment of absolute joy and freedom! All worries lift of your shoulders. You even forget about food for a moment. There is just you, the chase, the adrenaline, and the anticipation that any moment now your jaws will close around your quarry and the STAFF will screech in delight. Pure magic!

Anyway, I have to go and sleep. The STAFF subjected me to the indignation of a b.a.t.h. I can only assume that means that they wangled being invited to a dinner-party as my hangers-on. Someone needs to drive me there. And the kind people normally give them a leeetle bit of food and attention, too. But if I am to entertain my hosts, I must rest now.

Sleepy Sunseeker

2008-02-02T21:21:00.001+01:00

Went around the Best Wood this morning. Nice crisp air. Foxes and squirrels to hunt. Sticks to chase. Life was just good. And then, when we were on the way back, I said to the STAFF "Hey, let's go around again!". Now, I always say this. Every time. It's just a joke, right! And nothing ever happens. We just go home. Have breakfast. Go to work or sleep, depending on your rank. Everyone is happy. So, when I said "Hey, let's go around again", that's what I expected to happen. BUT... one of the STAFF said to the other "Hey, let's do it. Let's just go around again". Ignoring the expression on the other member of STAFF's face, and the expression on my face (which is infinitely worse to ignore, because I am Chief of STAFF) off they went. "What?", I said. I mean: "I say, WHAT?!?". But there was nothing for it. I had to go around again.
Do they have NO sense of humour, I ask you? Can a guy not make an innocent joke without being exercised to the point of exhaustion?

Anyway, when we finally got home, I insisted that the furniture be moved. After all, you have to get into the sunshine whenever you can. And I was wearing the STAFFs socks. It helped me sleep.

I wonder what they have in store for tomorrow. I better rest to prepare...

No complaints...

2008-01-27T21:25:00.001+01:00

The STAFF treated me with extreme cruelty when they would not take me out on the pretense that my broken nail needed to heal, and I did let them know I was not pleased. But after 72 hours of sheer hell, and another 48 hours with just two boring walks I was back in the Best Wood. Phew.

Now I am quite pleased, happy and tired. Some nasty people have suggested that, as I had no complaints, I have been neglecting my blog. This is just nasty talk. Really. There is a really good alternative explanation, which I am formulating as we speak.

You can see me formulating here, whilst cunningly looking as though I am schnoozing in the sunshine on my private sofa.

Did I mention that I have a new title? I have been watching the West Wing with the STAFF, and I now make them call me Chief of STAFF. A very appropriate title, don't you think? And it reflects the hierarchy in our residence so very accurately.

Must be off, there is sleep to catch up on.

Yours,

Chief of STAFF

Ouch...ouch...ouch!

2008-01-12T02:53:00.001+01:00

Ouchy! Can you see my nail all torn and the quick exposed and ..... [Sorry, I fainted just then]. It is all rather sore. What happened, I hear you cry? Well, I was on an early morning hunt in the woods in the dark and I must have caught my foot on something and torn the top of my nail off. Of course the STAFF were nowhere to be seen. And why do they force us out before sunrise anyway. I put on a brave face: Know No Pain - that's my motto.

I only licked it very surreptitiously when I was resting in my batchelor pad after the morning's exertion, but the &%$# STAFF with their hypersensitive perception noticed it anyway and dragged me to the Vet's, as I knew they would. Traitors!

And the vet said I had to rest and not exercise until the nail had hardened, because if I split it further I'd need an operation to have the nail removed and my paw would be bandaged for weeks.
Well, it's a risk I would take, and I explained that to the STAFF. But no! Do they take me out? Do they take me out? Do they heck! I have to drag them around the streets in the morning, which is not very comfortable at all.
And I am soooo bored. Please send sympathy.

One interesting obervation: as soon as I lick my poorly paw, the STAFF proffer food, play games, cuddle me or give me some kind of attention. Hmmm, maybe I'll be able to while away the boredom over the next few days after all...

Across the Windy Moors on Christmas Day - or A Reality Check

2007-12-26T00:33:00.001+01:00

Hmm, I am not sure whether I spoke too soon when I praised Christmas. Perhaps my enthusiasm was too much based on cozy and romantic images I saw in the media and not enough adjusted for those masters of crazy and stupid, aka the STAFF. I thought we'd wake up late, go downstairs, find presents, pork pies and sherry. Unwrap stuff, eat. Eat some more. And basically continue eating until luncheon time, when we'd eat until it was time for dinner.

I should have known the STAFF would have other ideas. The alarm goes off before sunrise (who, I asks you, sets an alarm on Christmas day?), and then they start packing our hiking gear. Uh oh, I thought. What about a lie-in? Pork pies? Presents?

See what I got instead! A day out on Stanton moor in the Peak District! That's not what I anticipated - and there were certainly no pork pies.

And then the STAFF made me pose in the Nine Ladies Stone circle. Oooh, Nine Ladies and One Weimy, they crooned. The feeble fools. They are not funny! Gosh, this is sooo embarrassing.

As always, they managed to entice me along the route by hypnotising me with biscuits. As you can see I am totally spellbound. I am sure it is not legal. I will find out about that.

I feel a little better now that we are home and I have been issued with luncheon. Very nice stuff from a tin. Now, if I get some dinner in addition to that, it could be a great Christmas day after all!

Let's keep our paws crossed and hope for the best as we relax in front of the radiator.

Merry Christmas everyone

2007-12-25T06:03:00.001+01:00

Bah Humbug!? No way! What's not to like about Christmas?

A time full of yuletide joy, the potential for snacks, mulled wine, carols and (edible!) tree decorations. Lots of time spent with the STAFF, frolicking about in the hills and in woods. And Christmas dinner! Not just the dried biscuits I normally get, but tinned food of lamb and tapioca. Yum!

Pity it is only once a year!

I am feeling quite magnanimous. I might even get the STAFF a small present, if I find something suitable on the walk tomorrow.

I hope you all have a very Happy Holiday!

Hip Hip Hooray

2007-12-21T21:51:00.001+01:00

Happy birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday, dear Gerlinde!
Happy Birthday to you!
Hip hip - hooray!

Gerlinde, sorry I cannot join you for a nice Hirnderl, Luengerl, Wuersterl feast, but I will be having a glass of champagne to toast you on your special day! Well, if the STAFF leave me any (you know what they are like about giving me good stuff...). I hope you have a super day and a super year!

Please send my regards to your lovely cats also. I am sure that you look after them very well. Not a luxury all of us have!

Bye and Cheers! With lots of love,

Otto

Pssst....The STAFF have gone crazy.

2007-12-09T21:09:00.000+01:00

So, remember how I said that I kinda like going to Bestwood. I should have been more cautious about who I said it to... The STAFF, not known for their sense (common or otherwise) never ever do anything in moderation. So, they have taken me on a forced march around Bestwood everyday last week. I mean, Come On! It's miles! And it is so exciting that I cannot just walk calmly next to them. I have to charge. I wonder whether they are doing it to escape the OAPs bacon gifts on our ususal round? Hmmm, that would be cruel. On the upside, I get more food. On the downside, I burn it all off. Anyway, I am completely knackered!
Thankfully this weekend the weather's been awful again. On the plus side it meant a shorter trip on Saturday and no hanging around whilst they prance about with the camera. On the downside, this was because it was raining so much it was like having a shower (they did remember my new and rather fetching coat, so I was mainly dry; I'll show you a picture sometime soon).
I have attached a picture of me jumping for joy when I realised that today we were just going on a reasonable stroll by the river. Phew, with that and a bit of sleep I can face the hardships of next week. I still hope that it is just a phase the STAFF are going through and that we will return to a more sedate, bacon eating life style. But seeing the determined glint in their eyes makes me worry a lot...

PS: As I was saying I am sooooo tired I can't even stay awake long enough to tell you... tell you... something...zzz....zzz....zzz

Rainy days and Sundays - don't get me down...

2007-12-02T22:57:00.001+01:00

We have returned from our trip to Clumber National Park and I am now happily stretched out on the sofa by the hot fire. Aaahhh...toasty. Where was I? Oh, yes. You may remember that the STAFF gave me hypothermia, etc etc on our last rainy trip out because they left my coat in the car. They are such wii-s (well-intentioned idiots). Anyway, today is really rather miserable, wet and rainy, but I cannot deny that I had a lot of fun. And stayed nice and toasty in my coat.

The STAFF did lose all the points gained by the fun trip by totally forgetting (again!) to get my orders from the Cafe when we stopped for refreshments. They got cups of tea, or whatever. But where was my roast chicken, bacon butty, roast beef with chips? Where I ask you? Pfff.

I'm not a couch potato! I am the Silver Arrow!

2007-12-02T02:19:00.000+01:00

Some unkind people have suggested that I am a couch potato with a touch of hypochondria. How rude! It is true that due to the STAFFs' shortcomings, which I cannot avoid detailing on these pages, I am often unwell.
Lately the STAFF are annoyed when we go on our regular morning rounds, because some nice people leave out bacon rind for me. The STAFF don't want me to have it. They pretend it is because they buy me this hypo-hypo-superduper-hypoallergenic astronaut food from the vets which is nice and gentle on my tummy. And THEY claim that me eating bacon rinds rather defeats the purpose of this expense, because I might end up with a sore tummy anyway, blablabla... Why don't THEY just admit it? THEY are jealous because I have secret admirers who give me lurvely gifts of bacon and such and noone wants to give THEM anything. I am not surprised, THEY are ever so grouchy.

Anyway, on those nasty couch potato rumours (just because a guy likes relaxing on the sofa, does not make him lazy!), I wanted to show all you doubters some evidence that when the mood takes me, I can move faster than the naked eye can see, faster than lightning, faster than light itself. Anyway, my natural modesty prevails, but I can tell you that this photo was taken with specialist equipment, otherwise I wouldn't even be in it. So there!

Don't eat nuts unless you are a squirrel! Or the tale of the Veterinary Emergency

2007-11-29T19:18:00.002+01:00

have not been able to write to you for a while. As you might have suspected it was the STAFFs' fault (why do I even put up with them?)! They gave me something funny to eat, some kind of stuff mainly made from ground nuts, baked into a cake or something. Of course only a little piece because they are stingy! But, it made me feel so sick. Sicker than - I'll spare you the graphic comparisons. But I was chucking and cramping and shivering and chucking and cramping and, boyoboy. So, they rushed me to the e.r.(Vets Now), because it was Sunday and out own surgery is closed then. I hate that place.

The people you see in the waiting room. Awful. And all that fear and anxiety (and that is just the STAFF).
And it is quite expensive. Really, they should have thought that through berforehand and we could have spent the money on something else.

PS: I feel better now. And I am still milking the STAFFs' guilty conscience. Every cloud does have a silver lining.

I'm going to sack the STAFF! Applications are welcome!

2007-11-18T22:11:00.000+01:00

So, it is a really, really cold and wet rainy November day. Cold. Damp. Really wet. What would any sensible person do? I can tell you: double breakfast, nice fire, extra blankets, and - most important that one - stay indoors! What do the STAFF do? What with them not being sensible at all! They drag us out on a long walk through Thieves Wood. Normally I quite like going there. Also, there's a tuck shop and you can buy a suasage for 30 pence. Not that they have sprung for one lately - stingy! But that's another matter.

So, they left my coat in the car. Went on a long walk. And I got absolutely frozen. So, now I am spending my time choking to indicate that they did give me double pneumonia bronchitis. And no amount of blankets is going to stop me from complaining.

Applications for replacing the STAFF from trained and sensible personnel are very welcome!

PS: I suppose the STAFF are trying. Still, I can't get warm. Maybe they will fetch me more blankets? And let's see what other stuff I can get them to do whilst they are on their guilt trip.